Roger
IELTS Writing Task 1 Hi dearest friends, Could someone please help me to correct this text? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The diagram demonstrates the necessary steps to perform a payment by a credit card between a consumer and a merchant. It can be seen that there are five steps and seven actions related to this process. Steps and actions are inter-connected. On the first step the client performs a payment by its credit card. The merchant requests an authorization by sending the client’s data to the credit card organization. After some processing, the organization request an authorization to the consumer’s issuing bank. After a client’s data validation, the bank sends to the credit card organization the approving request which firstly is accounted by the organization and then is replied to the merchant. Finally, the merchant releases the request and the client is able to receive their products. In the second process part, the merchant has informed the credit card organization that the transaction has been concluded and the consumer’s issuing bank must transfer the funds minus the credit card fees to the merchant’s bank. And then, the merchant’s bank performs the payment for the sales operations executed by the merchant.
Oct 1, 2014 10:22 PM
Corrections · 3
1

IELTS Writing Task 1

Hi dearest friends,

Could someone please help me to correct this text?

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The diagram demonstrates the necessary steps to perform a payment by a credit card between a consumer and a merchant. It can be seen that there are five steps and seven actions related to this process. The steps and actions are interconnected.

On the first step, the client performs a payment by its with his or her {or "with a"} credit card. The merchant requests an authorization by sending the client’s data to the credit card (processing) organization. After some processing, the organization requests an authorization to the consumer’s issuing bank. After a client’s data validation, the bank sends {or "transmits"} the approval to the credit card organization, the approving request which is firstly is held in accounted by the organization, and then is replied {better: relayed} to the merchant. Finally, the merchant releases the request and the client is able to receive their products {or "purchase"}.

In the second process part of the process, the merchant has informed the credit card organization that the transaction has been concluded and the consumer’s issuing bank must transfer the funds, minus {or "subtracting"} the credit card fees to the merchant’s bank. And then, the merchant’s bank performs {or "transfers"} the payment for the sales operations executed by the merchant.

October 2, 2014
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