Random writing Once, there was this guy whom I love. He is a simple person, and ordinary. I feels good when he is around. However, something has changed recently. When I try to recall what we have done together, I feel a sudden unfamiliar feeling. We used to have long conversations, and we are always looking forward to our next meet-ups. Weirdly, I no longer feel the excitement in me, instead, I feel the distance between us. I guess the problem is not on him, yet on me. Perhaps, I'm starting to be afraid. Afraid of the demands by him, afraid of the bar he set. I'm not prepaid. The more proactive he is, the uneasy I am. We never discuss about what kind of connection we want, and I feel great being close friends, and that's all I need. What I start to dislike about him, is when I found that he is trying to chain me in some ways. I don't like to guess what he has in mind, neither being forced to change myself because of a invisible bound. I understand most of the people are trying to be friendly, but sometimes, they are over-friendly. I don't know how you feel, but when everyone is treating me nicely, I feel pressurised. I start to have questions in mind: "What do you want?", "Why do you do this?", "Should I do this, or that?". I feel messed up, because I can't tell who is sincere to me, and who isn't. In this kind of situation, I choose to reject everything from them. Let's continue about "him". Same situation, I don't know how to face him. We are too close to be just "friends". I just hope that time could somehow dilute this friendship a bit, and slow things down too. I hope we can both meet someone special in the future, who could change our current thoughts, and let our "once love" remains as a part of beautiful memories. I'm giving myself five years time. Five years time to keep in touch with him, and find a way to preserve our friendship. He's a nice guy. To be honest, I used to love him, puppy love. He is somehow special to me. Because I ever loved him, and we are so close. To tell him "Let's just be friends" is hard, because I feel like I'm hurting him. I don't know what he has in mind. This is a complicated matter, and I'll let the time to do it's magic. If we are meant to be together, then no matter how far we have been apart, we will meet again. If we are meant to be each other's life passer, then let it be. Let this small "interlude" be our special memory, remain forever in our hearts. Only we know, what happened. :)