About Zoos
could I have it corrected please? I really think there are not many mistakes, aren´t they?
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Today there are many people who are concerned about the freedom of wild animals because they think that the zoo is a place where animals live in poor conditions. However, other people believe that it is the best place for animals because thanks to it they can learn to co-exist with people.
While I agree that a zoo is place where you can find all types of wild species who are living together, I disagree with the conservationists who thinking that they consider to zoos are wonderful places for preserving species. Another interesting point of view is looking a zoo as amusement park or a place for entertainment because it presents there are many economical interests around.
However, some experts are of the opinion that these animals have the best quality of life and they could have and can live freely and healthily. What's is more, is that studies have shown that animals they can live for a long time and that they are able to have all the meals that they need in these such places.
In recent years, it has become fashionable safari parks in the South of Africa have become fashionable - especially for famous people who have a lot money. Nevertheless, there are many opnions against this fashion because they consider that the animals are ill-treated and it goes against of the animal's rights.
To sum up, I think that we should it must have zoos to preserve endangered species, but only if they are provided with everything they need.
Pretty accurate! Well done!
-You need to work on where you put your commas: they just weren't in the right places.
-You sentence structure is good, but it's pretty "samey" and you need to try and vary it in order to become more advances, although I do think it's good that you're going for accuracy first!
-The same rings true of the words that you've used. You can try and include some synonyms so that you essays don't get boring!
I hope that you can learn something from this!
