My husband is an elephant My husband is an elephant. He eats as much as an elephant; he sleeps as long as an elephant and he weighs like a little elephant. It's very difficult to live with an elephant

Veronika

My husband is an elephant My husband is an elephant. He eats as much as an elephant; he sleeps as long as an elephant and he weighs like a little elephant. It's very difficult to live with an elephant. Our mattress on the bed has a big dent on his side. I had turned the mattress over but he made a new dent on a new place. Anyway, my biggest problem is cooking. I cook every day several times. His appetite is so huge that I should have a little farm and kill one sheep a day to satisfy his appetite. Also, he is picky enough. He will not eat leftovers. I have to cook right before he wants to eat or at least several hours before eating. After finishing breakfast he asks when we will have lunch. After lunch he asks when he can expect dinner. After dinner he wonders why I feed him like he is a rabbit. And, of course, we have late dinner also. Don't think he doesn't eat between the main meals. He eats nuts or drink tea with something. There is his yesterday's late dinner in the photo. When he saw this food in the big pan he said (at 11:30 pm): "It looks good, but, please, don't go to sleep right now. I would like to eat something like that at 1 am". I wanted to strangle him at once, but I am a Russian wife, so I smiled and said: "Of course, my dear elephant, I will cook". Anyway, sometimes I think it’s easier to kill him than feed like that.

Oct 23, 2014 9:49 AM

Corrections · 7

Corrections in red. Stylistic suggesions in blue.

My husband is an elephant

My husband is an elephant. He eats as much as an elephant; he sleeps as long as an elephant; and he weighs as much as a little elephant. It's very difficult to live with an elephant. The mattress on our bed has a big dent on his side. I had turned the mattress over, but he made a new dent in a different place. Anyway, my biggest problem is cooking. I cook every day, several times. His appetite is so huge that I should have a little farm, and kill one sheep a day to satisfy his appetite. Also, he is very picky enough. He will not eat leftovers. I have to cook right before he wants to eat, or at least within several hours before eating. After finishing breakfast he asks when we will have lunch. After lunch he asks when he can expect dinner. After dinner he wonders why I feed him as if he were a rabbit. And, of course, we have a late dinner also. Don't think he doesn't eat between the main meals. He eats nuts, or drinks tea with something.
There is his yesterday's late dinner in the photo. When he saw this food in the big pan, he said (at 11:30 pm): "It looks good, but, please, don't go to sleep right now. I would like to eat something like that at 1 am". I wanted to strangle him at once, but I am a Russian wife, so I smiled and said: "Of course, my dear elephant, I will cook for you". Anyway, sometimes I think it’s easier to kill him than feed him like that.

Но есть и положительный аспект того, что муж - как слон. Такой муж никогда не будет забывать Ваш день рождения или годовщину свадьбы!

Your post was very well written.

October 24, 2014

My husband is an elephant. He eats as much as an elephant. He sleeps as long as an elephant, and he weighs as much as a little elephant. It's very difficult to live with an elephant.
Our mattress has a big dent on his side. I turned the mattress over, but he made a new dent in a new place.
Anyway, my biggest problem is cooking. I cook every day; several times. His appetite is so huge that I should have a little farm and kill a sheep every day just to to satisfy his appetite. He is also very picky. He will not eat leftovers. I have to cook right before he wants to eat or at the most; several hours before he wants to eat.
After breakfast he asks when we will have lunch. After lunch he asks when he can expect dinner. After dinner he wonders why I feed him like a rabbit; and of course we also have a late dinner. Don't think he doesn't eat between meals, either. He eats nuts or drinks tea with something.

Yesterday's late dinner is in the photo. When he saw this in the big pan at 11:30 pm, he said "It looks good, but please don't go to sleep right now. I would like to eat something like that at 1:00 am". I wanted to strangle him, but I am a "Russian Wife," so I smiled and said: "Of course, my dear elephant, I will cook." Anyway; sometimes I think it would be easier to kill him than feed him like this.

You are absolutely hilarious, Veronika.

October 27, 2014

You know what! You're an excellent writer Veronika and I see I'm not the only one who likes your entries:) Take a look at this please, you might be interested because this is a real book and you get to publish your stories there:) http://www.italki.com/discussion/82235 Good luck.

November 1, 2014

Yes, I wrote that myself.)) And yesterday my husband complained about shortage of food after a late dinner again. He weighs only 198 lbs now. He lost several pounds. It's sort of a tragedy.)) I married an elephant because his mother didn't warn me about this problem. It turned out that she had 3 elephants at home (also my husband's brother and father) and she was ready to shoot herself. I saved her. I took one of elephants from her.))

October 29, 2014