Dead Alive
I seek, I seek but I don't find anything.
Help me! Who am I? A soul? A body? A spirit?
Look at me. Look at me and tell me, tell me what you see.
God, where are you? Now that I'm dead, come and talk to me
and explain to me why, if I know that I'm dead, do I feel so alive
if I just wanted to disappear forever
And now that my self-awareness ran away from me, who am I?
What should I do?
Should I surrender myself to what I've always been?
Should I dissolved myself into eternity, into the god that I've always looked for?
Hi Bárbara. This is some powerful writing. I really like it. Just know that commas don't come after question marks. Thank you for sharing.
-Jeff
Dead Alive
I seek, I seek but I don't find anything. <em>(Ok, here you could be very poetic and drop the "anything" and say: "I seek, I seek but I don't find." The "anything" is sort of implied this way. But what you have is perfect. No necesitas cambiarla.)</em>
Help me! Who am I?, a soul?, a body?, an spirit?
Look at me, look at me and tell me, tell me what you see.
God, where are you? Now that I'm dead come and talk to me.
Explain to me why, if I know that I'm dead, why do I feel so alive?
Maybe I just wanted to disappear forever.
And now that my self awareness has run away from me, who am I?
What should I do?
Should I surrender myself to what I've always been?
Should I dissolved myself into eternity, into the god that I've always looked for?
I seek
I seek but find <em>nothing</em>
Help me
Who <em>am I</em>
Soul
Body
Spirit
Look at me
Look at me and tell me
Tell me what you see
Where are you, God
Now that I'm dead
Come and talk to me and explain
If I know I'm dead
Why do I feel so alive
I wanted <em>to </em>disappear
Self-awareness
Run from me
Who<em> am I</em>
What should I do
Surrender to what <em>I am</em>
Dissolve into eternity
Into the God
I've <em>searched</em> for
<em>Bueno. He cambiado sus versos un poco pequeña. Quería mostrar otra manera de redactar la poesía. Con la escritura creativa no necesitamos puntuacion porque mostramos la historia - no decimos la historia. Espero que entiendan mi pobre español. Gracias.</em>