Notes:
Your English is very good, I understand everything, just grammar errors!
You need an article before IELTS: like my, an, the
'Now' sounds redundant (and my style is to write less rather than more!)
'here is an essay I wrote' This implies that this is one of many that you wrote on the subject. 'the essay' says that this is the only essay you wrote, which is my assumption.
'exceed' is just a better word because it describes numbers
'two varying views' I think that views always vary = are different. So 'opposing' or 'different' is more descriptive
'most significant', 'greatest' , 'best' should be used when comparing 3 items+. When comparing only 2 items, use 'more','greater', 'lesser', 'better'. However many people no longer follow this rule.
'changes over' just sounds better to me, 'over' is more encompassing, like a blanket.
people make choices = decisions. Their choices are made from the options they are provided.
"people communicate, work, study, entertainment" is "people [verb], [verb], [verb], [noun]". Oops! So I changed the noun to a verb 'are entertained'
Google and Yahoo are proper nouns so capitalized.
Most other changes are for singular/plural or verb tenses.
The influence of scientists and politicians.
This is a question from my IELTS examination. Now I am struggling for with it. Here is an the essay I wrote.
Maybe it is kind of long for editors, but the number of words in this exam is required to exceed above 250.
If someone would like to do me a favor, I would be grateful great thankful.
There are two varying opposing views on who plays the most more significant role in developments of the world, with some supporting scientists, while others state that politicians are the leaders of our lives. Before expressing my own personal view on this topic, both sides will be explored first.
It is obvious that scientists make substantial changes on over the way people live. New technologies developed by researchers provide people with better choices to make when they try to options for meeting their daily demands. As a result, most users tend to abandon previous habits and even lifestyles due to new technologies priorities of the advanced technique. This can be evidenced by the appearance of the Internet, which almost changed the way people communicate, work, study and are entertained entertainment. In the past, People used to acquire knowledge from books, while currently, more people search for information on the websites such as Google and Yahoo firstly.
Politicians, on the other hand, ensure that national developments can be achieved. Officials participated in the process of making policies which include the methods of allocating resources and principles of public welfare. These rules and regulations are the leading factors of growth of the nation. Governments and also the regulate and maintain maintenance of personal benefits. Moreover, governments supervise the enforcements of laws and rights, which actually is in another way to support developments. Therefore some activities, such as monopolies and deforestation, will be punished by the responsible relative departments once they occur.
In my opinion, politicians still have the greatest greater impact on the world, although scientists have brought about numerous benefits on our lives. Politicians make efforts on the maintenance of improvements on to improve almost every aspect of people’s lives, including scientific findings. It means that many research projects cannot be conducted without permission and investments from governments, so to some extent, whether new technologies can be developed and applied to our lives is limited by politicians.
The influence of scientists and politicians.
This is a question from IELTS examination. Now I am struggling studying for it. Here is an essay I wrote.
Maybe it is kind of long for editors, but the number of words in this exam is required to be above 250.
If someone would like to do me a favor, I would be great very thankful.
There are two varying views on who plays the most significant role in the developments of the world, with some supporting scientists, while others state that politicians are leaders of our lives. Before expressing my own personal view on this topic, both sides will be explored first.
It is obvious that scientists make substantial changes on the way people live. New technologies developed by researchers provide people with better choices to make when they try to meet daily demands. As a result, most users tend to abandon previous habits and even lifestyles due to priorities of the advanced techniques. This can be evidenced by the appearance of the Internet, which almost change the way people communicate, work, study and entertainment relax or spend their leisure time. In the past, people used to acquire knowledge from books, while currently more people search information on the website such as Google and Yahoo firstly initially or as a main source, etc.
Politicians, on the other hand, ensure that national developments can be achieved. Officials participated in the process of making policies which include the methods of allocating resources and principles of public welfare. These rules and regulations are the leading factors of growth of the nation and also the maintenance of personal benefits. Moreover, governments supervise the enforcements of laws and rights, which actually is in another way to support developments. Therefore some activities, such as monopolies and deforestation, will be punished by relative departments once they occur.
In my opinion, politicians still have the greatest impact on the world, although scientists have brought about numerous benefits on our live. Politicians make efforts on the maintenance of improvements on almost every aspect of people’s live including scientific findings. It means that many research projects cannot be conducted without permission and investments from governments, so to some extent, whether new technologies can be developed and applied to our lives is limited by politicians.
<em>Very good!</em>
