a perfect holiday that I have been dreaming about. I have to say that I really love travelling. Ever since I was a little girl, I've always been dreaming about France. And Paris is dubbed the capital

Tu Anh

a perfect holiday that I have been dreaming about. I have to say that I really love travelling. Ever since I was a little girl, I've always been dreaming about France. And Paris is dubbed the capital of light and is the most romantic city in the world. To me, travel alone is so boring, I don't have anyone to share, to talk and laugh with me. So, nothing's more interesting if I could go there with my family in seven days. I would like to be immersed in wonderful beaches in the South of France with some appealing games like kite surfing, stand up paddle and windsurfing. Moreover, I wanna see the real Eiffel tower, not on TV or magazine. Able to be living in 5 stars hotel, with a room have a good view to contemplate the gorgeous beauty of Paris at night. Would be enjoyed a delicious meal with a lot of famous dishes. Finally, I guess, if I still have money, I'll probably go shopping on the last day. The most important thing is that I desire a perfect holiday without school, job or troubles, just have fun, relax and spend a sweet time with my family. I know a holiday like this would not cheap but I hope one day, I can accomplish this dream.

Nov 5, 2014 10:03 AM

Corrections · 7

a perfect holiday that I have been dreaming about.

I have to say that I really love traveling. Ever since I was a little girl I've always dreamed about France. Paris is dubbed the capital of light and is the most romantic city in the world.
To me, traveling alone is so boring because I don't have anyone to share, talk, or laugh with. Nothing would be better than if I could go there with my family for seven days. I would like to be immersed in wonderful beaches in the south of France with some appealing (exciting) sports like kite surfing, stand up paddle and windsurfing. Moreover, I want to see the real Eiffel tower in person, not on TV or in magazines. I want to be able to stay in a 5 star hotel with a room with a good view to contemplate the gorgeous beauty of Paris at night. I want to enjoy one of many delicious and well known dishes. Finally on the last day, if I still have money, I'll probably go shopping.
The most important thing is that I desire a perfect holiday without school, job or troubles. To just have fun, relax and spend sweet time with my family. I know a holiday like this would not be cheap but I hope one day I can accomplish this dream.

Very nice job. I just changed a few things to make it sound more natural. Your dream holiday sounds like a great time!

November 6, 2014

after I saw that, I changed into English. Anyway, Thanks for your prompt.

November 6, 2014

The next time, you might want to choose English as the language your essay is written rather than Vietnamese. So, many native speakers can see it and then, of course, correct it. :)

November 5, 2014