Barbara
Untitled I think you didn't realize but the last time we met, from the corner of my mouth hung a confession, I could feel it dropping from my lips. That's why I've been avoiding you all this time, to prevent the confession fly away from me, to falls into your hands. Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you what's going on inside of me, but not today nor tomorrow.
Nov 21, 2014 12:52 AM
Corrections · 8
1

Untitled

I think you didn't realize but the last time we met, from the corner of my mouth hung a confession, I could feel it dropping from my lips.
That's why I've been avoiding you all this time, to prevent the confession fly away from me, to falls into your hands.
Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you what's going on inside of me, but not today nor tomorrow.

 

I don't think you realized it, but the last time we met, a confession was hanging from the corner of my mouth.  I could feel it about to drop from my lips.

That's why I been avoiding you all this time, to prevent that confession escaping from me, to prevent it from flying into your ears.

Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you what's going on inside me, but not today, and not tomorrow.

 

I thought ears was a better metaphor than hands, because the sounds - the confession - would go from your mouth to the listener's ears, not his or her hands. But overall, very good. I am definitely intrigued.

November 21, 2014
1

Untitled

I think you didn't realize but the last time we met, from the corner of my mouth/the tip of my tongue hung a confession, I could feel/sense it dropping/escaping/about to escape from my lips.
That's why I've been avoiding you all this time, to prevent the confession flying away from me/me from letting the cat out of the bag, <em>(the repetition is fine; and I offer you a mixed metaphor)</em> to prevent it from to falling into your hands <em>(not sure the expression 'fall into ... hands' </em><em>is suitable with a spoken word or a thought - unless you do mean something sinister could be done with the knowledge)</em>.
Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you what's going on inside of me, but not today, nor tomorrow.

November 21, 2014
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!