The National Day (remember to capitalize each word of your titles, 记得要利用你的标题每个单词)

(start a new paragraph between title and first topic,启动标题和第一个主题的新段落)

This week is a national holiday in China. People in China always hang out with family or friends in during this week, it’s pretty a lot of fun. Some people travel abroad, some people travel inside of China.

(A good rule to follow is three sentences for one paragraph; 3句为一个段落)

But you  One might think of that something happens like this during national holiday: People watch parades and fireworks for National Day.  and people There will be have some ceremonies for this holiday and people will have dozens of ways for to celebrateion the National Day. But However, in reality it’s like this: almost all of people in China will go to travel and there will be big traffic problems on the highway traffic problem is very big. (need to express idea more completely;需要更完整表达想法)(3句为一个段落)

Many cars get stuck on the highways because traffic jams stop on the highways, (词的选择:交通堵塞) In fact, the highway often looks like a parking lot. All of these things happen I wrote because the national holidays are is the longest holidays (expect for the summer holiday and winter holiday, but those are just for students). (要认真了解单数与复数)  and China has many people who they all want go out to drive during the holidays, which results in these kinds of problems.  then will happen this kind things. (需要更完整表达想法)

(3句为一个段落)

写一个人，地方或事物用首字母大写的名字的时候

Overall not bad. Just work on your titlecase for common names like China instead of china and your plural versus singular like 'students' rather than 'students'. Also, look at how 'is' rather than 'are' was used. Finally, notice that sometimes the plural rules in English are broken so for example we  write 'highways' and not 'highwaies' but on the other hand we use the plural of 'ceremonies' instead of the singular of 'ceremony'. You will have to learn when the rules apply and when they should be broken and you can only do so by experience. Keep writing more!