Kim
Fruit store 水果店 At first there is only one fruit store in the market near my house. Now there are five shops more than before. Today as I was walking past the market and found that shopkeepers went to great lenghts to attract shoppers. Their busines is not good. 我家附近的市场原来只有一家卖水果的,现在竟然冒出来五家,今天我路过市场,店主们正在竭尽全力地招揽顾客,他们的生意不好做。
Nov 26, 2014 2:07 PM
Corrections · 3
1

Fruit store

At first there is was only one fruit store in the market near my house. Now there are five shops more than before [1]. Today as I was walking past the market and found that shopkeepers went to great lenghts lengths to attract shoppers. Their businesses is are not good [2, 3].

 

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[1] This sentence is ambiguous.  Do you mean that there are now six fruit stores (there was one before, and now five more)?  Or do you mean that there are now five stores?  Depending on your meaning, one of the following sentences would work:

"Now there are another five shops."

"Now there are five shops, which is more than before."

The sentences above are still a bit difficult to read.  The following sentences are simple and easy to read:

"Now there are six fruit stores."

"Now there are five fruit stores."

 

[2] Remember, you are describing more than one shopkeeper.  You have used the 'their' pronoun correctly.  However you need to continue with the plural form to write 'businesses' and 'are'.

 

[3] Note that the word 'business' finishes with two of the letter 's'.

 

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Except for the ambiguous sentence, your story was very easy to read.  Good job!

November 27, 2014
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