Your use of varied sentence structures and vocabulary is very strong, and I think you are off to a good start to a solid essay. I think the main problem is that you did not clearly answer the question of why you think foreign language study should begin in primary school. You do a good job in your second paragraph of describing the reasons why people think language instruction at a young age would not work. Your third paragraph, however, only gives one reason why it is better for students to begin at an earlier age, when you write: "<em>Secondly, language is a basic knowledge, that can only develop well at young age, but would be tough to study later." </em>This is the only argument you have given that relates to the age of the students being an advantage to language learning. The rest of the third paragraph gives excellent reasons why students should learn foreign languages, but not why students should begin learning them in primary school rather than secondary school.

If you can come up with more reasons that specifically address how the age of the students would benefit their learning, I think your essay would be much stronger.你的英文授意我，我现在要练练中文。一天，我希望我会写中文一样好。努力学习！

May scholars may maintain that children will benefit a lot from learning a second language earlier at elementary school rather than secondary school. Overall, I think it is an impressive idea, and the strengths of it can totally overwhelm the shortages.

Admittedly, the main reason to object this opinion is that it may add extra load to young children. In other words, it will make children become tired and unhappy, which in turn will restrain their creativity. For instance, children have to do more homework about the language courses, which is not enjoyable for children, especially for those who have little interest in language. What makes things worse is that those homework will cut off their leisure time . Also, the problem of this policy is that it is hard to judge whether children like those language courses, and it is very cruel to push children to do something they dislike. I think maybe those courses can be given as optional courses to let children decide whether to take it or not according to their own interest.

However, I still deem that the reasons to support this idea are much more powerful. Firstly, nowadays, we live in a world with fast-paced globalization. Even primary school students may study together with their foreign classmates. Then, this kind of environment provide children a great chance to study a foreign language at young age. Also, learning a foreign language will enable children access to foreign culture and let them acquire global eyesight. Secondly, language is a basic knowledge, that can only develop well at young age, but would be tough to study later. Some young children are born with language gifts, we cannot let this gift deplete because of lack of attention. Thus, I definitely think children should be given a chance to learn a foreign language earlier.

In conclusion, I argue that it is effective to let children start learning a foreign language at primary school, since it will facilitate their future studies and career.

Hi ,Ben

I corrected my third paragraph. Would you mind to give me some advices about it?

However, I still deem that the reasons to support this idea are much more powerful. Firstly, language is a basic knowledge, that can only develop well at young age, but would be tough to study later. Some young children are born with language gifts, we cannot let this gift deplete because of lack of attention. Studying a foreign language at primary school will enable children manipulate it easier, and use it like mother tongue. Thus, I definitely think This chance is really needed to help children develop language skills in the future. Also, learning a foreign language earlier will enable children access to foreign culture and let them acquire global eyesight at their childhood. nowadays, we live in a world with fast-paced globalization. Even primary school students may study together with their foreign classmates, and there are many chances for people to use a foreign language in the future. This kind of environment and culture background make it more emergent for children to possess language skills than used to. Thus, children should be provided a chance to study a foreign language at primary school.