All about her I met her in the doomsday, 2 years ago,the first semester of my university life. She was playing the piano,cute and adorable,I was captivated . At then ,I was not brave enough to ask

Ray

All about her I met her in the doomsday, 2 years ago,the first semester of my university life. She was playing the piano,cute and adorable,I was captivated . At then ,I was not brave enough to ask her name personally. But luckily, a friend of mine has her QQ account (a instant messenger which famous in China). When I got back to dorm, I immediately send a request to her. She didn't respond ,I thought I was out,but as I checked my phone in the morning, the request has been agreed. I was like"OMG!,is this real??" We started to chat in the following days through cellphone,we talked about our high school life,funny things and our mutual interests,we spent almost every free minutes chatting with each other.The other day,I told her that I was kind of like her,she returned"How come?"I told her that how cute she was when she played the piano,how adorable she was when she smiles,how happy I was when I think of her, I told her everything,I didn't want us stay normal friends. She was shocked,or maybe.since I have never hidden my feelings about her.She didn't reply a confirm answer.My brain was full of anxiety and fear all day.The following day,me and her chatted like nothing ever happened,neither of us mentioned about what happend yesterday. At fourth January, afternoon, we were chatting online talking about what we gonna do at vacation.I suddenly asked her out to see a movie absently,though we had known each other for two weeks,but we have not met each other before,so I thought she wouldn't agree that ,but she agreed.I immediately jumped from my bed seeing her response.I prepared well-look to meet her,when I saw her,she was standing below a tree,I was like"god,she must be the one",we took a bus to the theater,we were talking and laughing on the way,and I almost regarded her as my girlfriend. when the comedy went on,she laughed again and again at the movie,and I laughed again and again at her.I didn't held her hands at the theater,after movie,we had dinner together,she thanked me for the "date".When we came back to school,I walked along with her to her dorm,she suddenly looked like serious and I've never seen such a expression in her face that day,she said that I was a good man,and I deserve a prettier and more adorable girl than her,she said that we'd better cut off our relationship,she came in her dorm right when she left all her words leaving me alone in front of the building. You are not able to know how much shocked then.I sent a message to her ,she didn't reply.

Dec 18, 2014 10:27 AM

Corrections · 3

All about her

I met her in the doomsday, one fateful day, 2 years ago, during the first semester of my university life. She was playing the piano,cute and adorable, and I was captivated. Back then, I was not brave enough to ask her name personally. But luckily, a friend of mine had her QQ account (a instant messenger service which is famous in China). When I got back to my dorm, I immediately sent a request to her. She didn't respond. I thought she was not interested but, when I checked my phone the following morning, the request had been agreed. I was, like, "OMG! Is this real??" We started to chat over the following days by cellphone. We talked about our high school life, funny things and our mutual interests. We spent almost all our free time chatting with each other.

Some time later, I told her that I kind of liked her. She replied, "How come?" I told her how cute she was when she played the piano; how adorable she is when she smiles; and how happy I am when I think of her. I told her everything. I didn't want us to be just "friends". I think she was shockedor maybe. because I did not hide my feelings about her. She didn't reply with a definite answer. My brain was full of anxiety and fear all day.The following day, we chatted like nothing had ever happened and neither of us mentioned about what had happend the previous day.

On 4th January, in the afternoon, we were chatting online talking about what we were going to do during our vacation. I suddenly asked her to go out with me to see a movie absently,Though we had known each other for two weeks,but we had not met each other before. So I thought she wouldn't agree to that but she did. I immediately jumped out of my bed, seeing her response. I made myself look really good to meet her. When I saw her,she was standing under a tree. I was like "God, she must be the one". We took a bus to the cinema. We were talking and laughing on the way and I almost regarded her as my girlfriend. While we were watching the comedy movie, she laughed again and again at the movie and I laughed again and again with her.

We didn't hold hands at the cinema. After the movie,we had dinner together and she thanked me for the "date". When we got back to school, while were walking to her dorm, she suddenly looked like serious. I had not seen such an expression on her face before that moment. She said that I was a good man and I deserved a prettier and more adorable girl than her. She said that we'd better end our relationship. She went into her dorm right right after she finished speaking, leaving me alone in front of the building. You are not able to know how shocked I was then. I sent a message to her. She didn't reply.

Wow - really interesting story and very well written. I have divided it into a few paragraphs as this would be normal when writing a longer text in English.

Check my punctuation changes. Make sure you don't separate phrases in a sentence with commas. Use full stops (US : "periods").

There are various grammar and style points that I could make. Let me know if you want more feedback on anything specific. Kind regards, Michael.

December 18, 2014

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