Word Smart Day 1 I am trying to write a paragraph using new words that I have learned today. The words are: abash, abate, abdicate, aberration, abhor, abject, abnegate, abortive, abridge, absolut

Kailin

Word Smart Day 1 I am trying to write a paragraph using new words that I have learned today. The words are: abash, abate, abdicate, aberration, abhor, abject, abnegate, abortive, abridge, absolute, absolve. *** It was the third year that Watson had returned from the battlefield, as a lame and retired soldier. His disability to guard his homeland and his conflicted agony of killing lives both made him feel abashed. However, over the years, in the comfort of his family, his anguish gradually abated. Sometimes, he still behaved like a soldier, alert and cold, which seemed an aberration in the community. Watson abhorred the funny looks from acquaintances and their latent behaviour to treat him like a crank. But his efforts to change was an abject failure. In his nightmares, which disturbed him from time to time, he could still recall the scenes in the battlefield, where his general abnegated the responsibility owing to unbearable pains and his fellows lost their limbs because of unexpected bombs. His attempt to assimilate into the community was abortive. The psychologist advised him to remove those harrowing experiences. However, he wouldn't absolve himself if he forgot the past. "I am an absolute soldier", he talked to himself, "If my memory is abridged, I will be nothing more than a deserter". *** I am trying my best to use these words, but many expressions may still seem out of place. Thank you for any correction or comment!

Dec 20, 2014 3:11 AM

Corrections · 8

Word Smart Day 1

I am trying to write a paragraphs using new words that I have learned today.

The words are:
abash, abate, abdicate, aberration, abhor, abject, abnegate, abortive, abridge, absolute, absolve.

***
It was the third three years since that Watson had returned from the battlefield, as a lame disabled and retired soldier. His inability to guard his homeland and his conflicted agony about of taking lives [or killing, or killing others, or killing people. When you kill a person you take a human life.] both made him feel abashed. However, over the years, in the comfort of his family, his anguish gradually abated.

Sometimes, he still behaved like a soldier, alert and cold, which seemed an aberration in the community. Watson abhorred the funny looks from acquaintances and their latent behaviour to treat the way they seemed to treat him like a crank. But his efforts to change were an abject failures. In his nightmares, which disturbed tormented [disturbed is too mild to use with nightmare. A bad dream might disturb you.] him from time to time, he could still recall the scenes in the battlefield, when his general abnegated the responsibility owing to unbearable pains and his fellow soldiers lost their limbs because of unexpected bombs.

His attempt to assimilate into the community was abortive*. The psychologist advised him to forget remove those harrowing experiences. However, he wouldn't be able to absolve himself if he forgot the past.

"I am an absolute* soldier", he talked said to himself, "If my memory is abridged*, I will be nothing more than a deserter".

***
I am trying my best to use these words, but many expressions may still seem out of place.
Thank you for any correction or comment!

*These words are used correctly, but they sound a little strained, a little forced, and they don't seem to fit the overall style of the essay very well.

Overall, very good writing.

December 20, 2014

Most of these are not expressions I use but this is what I think.

abash- to me means more embarrassed and your sentence seems like ashamed. I would use it in a lighter context. 'She felt abashed when the director thanked her for her work in front of the whole company."
Abated – perfect.
Aberration – ok. I think I would have said – ‘to the community’ because it was the community who thought it but also the expression is usual with ‘to someone’.
Abhor- ok in a literary use. I think it is more usual in the structure- ‘he found abhorrent’
Abject- perfect, very usual
Abnegate- ok but sounds very unusual to me. I would have said ‘stepped down from’ or ‘didn’t shoulder up to’.
Abortive- good, especially with attempts.
Abridge- no, I don’t think you can use it this way. It means to summarise or shorten, but trying to avoid losing content. I think I would always use it with books. Like the simplified versions you get when you are studying a language.
Absolute- perfect.
Absolve- Correct but sounds very unusual. I think the problem is that it is unusual to absolve yourself. Normally you are absolved by others or in their eyes. So it would be more usual in passive- “he wouldn’t be absolved.” I think this is why Daniel’s solution works well, because it expresses achieving an absolution.

Of course these are all fairly formal expressions which would sound unusual in informal speech. But correctly used could give a good impression in a IELTS writing or other types of relatively formal articles.

December 31, 2014

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