luna
Afraid1 Some of friends asked me "what are you afraid?" I'm afraid of many things.Snake almost people afraid of it.When i was little,about 7-8 years old.There is one snake almost make me die.I was at a small cliff,I even not see the snake clearly,I just feel it near my feet,then I fell down from the cliff,its not high but enough to kill me.When I was rolling I think I will die but suddenly my mother comes into my mind,and I tell myself I cant die,I havent grow up to take care of my mom.And I catch all waht I can catched and try my best to keep me do not fall down.Finally my mother come to save me.When I come to my mom's arms,I begin to cry and hold her leg tightly.
Dec 22, 2014 5:18 AM
Corrections · 4

Afraid1

Some of my friends have asked me "what are you afraid of?" - I'm afraid of many things. Snake almost people afraid of it  Most people are afraid of snakes. When i was little, about 7-8 years old, there was one snake that almost made me die. I was at a small cliff, I even not see the snake clearly I did not see the snake clearly,I just felt it near my feet. I fell down from the cliff, it wasn't high up, but enough to have possibly killed me.When I was rolling I thought I would die, but suddenly my mother comes into my mind, and I told myself I won't die because I havent yet grown up to take care of my mom. And I catch all waht I can catched an I held on to what I could find to try my best to keep me from falling down. Finally, my mother come to save me. When I fell into my mom's arms, I began to cry and hold her tightly.

Hi there, great work! For your next entry, try to work on tenses. You are writing a reflective piece here about an experience, so remember to use the past tense of verbs when describing events. 

December 22, 2014
Yes,i forgot,thank you
December 23, 2014
Hi, you forgot to use past tense in ur notebook entry ^^
December 22, 2014
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