Nata Kompanichenko
hi everyone) it is my first describing story which i was reading two days ago) i like to read interesting stories. Yesterday, i was reading the story about man called Tom Walker. He loved money more then his life. he was ready to do something not good but just live rich life, it was important for him. But at first i need to tell you about the pirate named Captain Kidd which lived alone a lot of time ago. He sailed on his ship on the Sea and stolen a lot of money and silver, gold, jewels from other ships . at last then he was captured, but he hid his money before then his was captured . People tried to find money but it was very difficult, they afraid to do it , coz these treasures was guarding Devil . Tom Walker and his wife did not afraid nothing, just thinking all the time about money. one day Tom walked through the wild forest he was tired and he decided to rest . He sat down under the old broken tree and started to dug his stick dry ground and hit something hard, it was the Indian skull . in this time he heard a rude voice .the first time in his life Tom met the Devil. it was not difficult to understand, coz he looked dangerous . he was very strong, his skin had black, he had big red eyes, and he was dressed in Indian old clothing. This strange creature holds in his hands biggest Indian ax. He said Tom it is land his, coz Indians left it him. And now he ready to give this land him, but it will be dial. And Devil suggest Tom Walker treasure for change his soul. Tom Walker was agreeing. But great black creature wants something yet, he wants that Tom stay a lender of money, and that people who will borrow money to pay back much more than they had received. And begin his other life. He always do that said him Devil, he took money from people, their houses, and jewels, but as time went faster. Tom Walker become more nervous, then usually, coz he very afraid loose his life. It was not in vain, coz one time when Tom was very evil and cruel with other man he begin scream in his face such words : Let the Devil take me if I have taken any money from you!" and when he finished he heard knocking in his door. There was the black giant, holding a black horse. The giant said, "Tom, I have come for you." He picked up Tom and put him on the horse. Then he hit the horse, which ran off, carrying Tom. It was the and for Tom Walker. Nobody ever saw Tom Walker again. After Tom Walker disappeared, the government decided to take Toms property. But there was nothing to take. All the papers which showed that Tom owned land and houses were burned
Jan 29, 2015 12:06 PM
Corrections · 5
1

I'm not a native speaker but it's a common rule to use "I", not "i" when referring to yourself. Also you confused Past continuous and Past Simple Tenses in the second sentence.

"Yesterday I read a story about a man called Tom Walker" sounds better. You can still use "was reading" if you add some action that interrupted your reading. For example: "Yesterday, when I was reading a storu about a man called Tom Walker, the phone called".

 

Удачи :)

January 29, 2015
thank you my friend)
January 29, 2015
Not bad!! you made it big. Thanks.
January 29, 2015
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