Geovanna
Flower of life At the first burst of light I see it beauty grow expand front my eyes I smell their exquisite aroma and unmistakable feeling of nature. I feel in my fingers when touch it gently almost with afraid and bowed his unforgettable smoothness. And at the passing of the hours I realize front at my wondering eyes as it looks every minute it becomes every second, more diaphanous, more voluptuous and inviting And her perfume is like burning lava that quickly slips through my veins.
Jan 30, 2015 2:19 AM
Corrections · 4
1

Flower of life

At the first burst of light
I see its beauty grow expand (choose either grow or expand because they mean the same thing. Expand is more elegant of language.) in front of my eyes 

I smell their exquisite aroma and unmistakable
feeling of nature.
I feel it in my fingers when touch it gently
almost with fear and bowed (I'm a bit confused by bowed. Do you mean felt?)
his unforgettable smoothness.

And (as the hours pass) the passing of the hours
I realize in front of my wondering eyes as I look

every minute becomes every second,
more diaphanous, more voluptuous and inviting
And her perfume is like burning lava
that quickly slips through my veins.

 

I love that you are doing poetry! Overall, good job! 

January 30, 2015
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