alone at the start but by the end of this entry i felt better.. Today i got into another argument out of many with my brother. We didn't really grow up in the same household so we aren't really close. Words can't describe how angry and alone i feel after the conversation i had with him. I am sick of it, I'm sick of him hanging up on me. I am sick of constant ridiculous petty arguments. I mean arguing is ok from time to time, but when its about something important or sensible. Im on here writing because i find when no one is available for me to vent to writing is the next best thing( i mean girl has to express her self some sort of way). ughh!! as a first generation Haitian american I'm one one of very few in my family to obtain a degree. At first i didn't think much of it, i mean to each there own right? I'm just trying to make it out here, its not really a competition when it comes to family; to add to that, I'm also a loner and don't speak to many. From time to time when NO ONE has called to check in with me i would call to see if they were ok. So today that's just what i did. It started off good and of course it always goes south when i entertain a conversation about our father.. see our dad was more in my life then he was in my brothers and my brothers haaaaaate that, and despite what they say i feel like they hold a slight grudge against me. Regardless all of this i still keep in contact with them thinking that i can help them by listening to them express their feeling and voice their anger.. of course i now am realizing that i may be wrong. My life was in no way great but i do feel for all of them (my dad's many other kids) because i do know how important it is for kids to have a stable home where both parents are present. There are many single parents out there but i first hand have seen the effects of a child who never had a stable father vs a child who has.. and there are a lot of differences. Parents play a tremendous role in a child's psychological well being..... ok with that being said i know i didn't really finish my thought, and that is because i got to vent in the middle of writing this. my friend called, it got emotional and now i feel much better.. Sorry if u feel this story is incomplete .. i like to write when I'm in the moment and since I'm no longer as emotional as i was in the beginning of writing this i decided to cut it short. Also, since i already wrote so much i decided that i should still enter it in my notebook.. Thanks for going through the motions with me !