Wency zhou
A Misunderstanding Yesterday, i chatted with a friend who's from America. I assume that it was very late in America, so i asked " Shouldn't it be very late? and you still up?" he replied"what, are you my mom?" Then I thought i might say something inappropriate. Acutally i just wanted to ask why you were not sleeping or what you were doing in the middle of night. Is that kind of question really an inappropriate or offensive one? Did i let him feel that i violated his privacy? Because in China, this "still up?" kind of question is commonly used as greetings when people go on a talk in the middle of night. If it is, i guess that is where the differences exist
Feb 26, 2015 4:19 AM
Corrections · 4

A Misunderstanding

Yesterday, i chatted with a friend who's from America. I assume that it was very late in America, so i asked " Shouldn't it be very late? and you still up?" he replied"what, are you my mom?" Then I thought i might say something inappropriate. Acutally i just wanted to ask why you were not sleeping or what you were doing in the middle of night. Is that kind of question really an inappropriate or offensive one? Did i let him feel that i violated his privacy? Because in China, this "still up?" kind of question is commonly used as greetings when people go on a talk in the middle of night. If it is, i guess that is where the differences exist

 

hat Mitsuko is correct.  However, you must be able to discern from the tone of voice.  It could be that he's just joking with you.  Just like in Chinese, you call someone a 坏蛋, it takes on two drastic meanings depending on the tone and how it was said.

February 26, 2015
It was most likely sarcasm! " What are you, MY MOM?" rather than " WHAT, are you my mom?" It is a nuance based on inflection within the sentence -- basically the first one is teasing you because you are asking a lot of questions much like a mom(sometimes considered nagging). It is like a childish comeback that students or friends say to each other. The second one has more inflection on WHAT... probably meaning that the person was angry or defensive like Mitsuko said! I have actually had people ask me "still awake?" or "still up?" before. I do not think it is a violation of privacy or offensive at all. Safe opening remarks are: "hi, how are you doing?", " hi, how are you?" or "hey what's up?"
April 25, 2015

A Misunderstanding

Yesterday, I chatted with a friend who's from America. I assumed that it was very late in America, so I asked, "Isn't it very late? Yet/And you're still up?" He replied, "What, are you my mom?" Then I thought that I might say something inappropriate. Acutally, I just wanted to ask why he was not sleeping or what he was doing in the middle of night. Is that kind of question really an inappropriate or offensive one? Did I make him feel as if I violated his privacy? Because in China, this "Still up?" kind of question is commonly used as greetings when people start to talk in the middle of night. If it is offensive or inappropriate, I guess that is where the differences exist.


I don't think it's inappropriate at all to ask people why they're up if it's very late.  Perhaps that person was just upset and took it out on you.  Don't let it get to you!  I have friends in different states and countries, and sometimes I will ask them this when I talk to them (if I'm not sure of the time).  We don't use it as greetings so much as we use it as a space-filler.  Or just a way to get the conversation going.

 

Hope my corrections are helpful! :]  If you have any questions, let me know!

February 26, 2015
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