Why Yulka's parents forbade her to hang out with me part 2 He stopped and offered us his help. He slightly had hit the watermelon on the concrete and it opened. We greedily ate the watermelon unti

Dari

Why Yulka's parents forbade her to hang out with me part 2 He stopped and offered us his help. He slightly had hit the watermelon on the concrete and it opened. We greedily ate the watermelon until we were completely stuffed. There was still a watermelon left. The way back home was long... so Yulka decided to put the rest of the watermelon into her school backpack... I knew that on the way back we should ride on the opposite side of the road...so we had stuck to the middle of the highway, just where the separating concrete is... Soon, by the reaction of the drivers which were humming and trying to change the lanes, I realised that its probably was not the right “opposite side” of the road, but it was too late to try to move somewhere else. I knew I was sweating but could I sweat that much that my shirt and my shorts got wet? I looked down and saw that Yulka's backpack (I was caring her on the frame of my bike) was completely wet... The watermelon....I stopped and told her to throw it away. She refused. I told her that otherwise she will have TO WALK home with HER watermelon. She stared at me for a while with her eyes full of tears and finally thrown away, what she succeed to collect from the watermelon inside her backpack. We reached our neighbourhood in the darkness. Yulka's mother was rushing around neighbourhood, she was wearing a bathrobe and caring the belt which was coiled around her wrist. When she saw us, she gave me that look, in which I could read that she wont give me any sweets any more and then she took Yulka by the ear and pulled her home. From this day on, since Yulka was forbidden to hang out with me, every thing we did, we did secretly.

Feb 27, 2015 10:08 AM

Corrections · 5

Why Yulka's parents forbade her to hang out with me part 2

He stopped and offered us his help. He slightly had hit the watermelon on the concrete and it opened.

We greedily ate the watermelon until we were completely stuffed. There was still a some watermelon left.
The way back home was long... so Yulka decided to put the rest of the watermelon into her school backpack...

I knew that on the way back we should ride on the opposite side of the road...so we had stuck to the middle of the highway, just where the separating concrete is...
Soon, by the reaction of the drivers which were (humming) beeping and trying to change the lanes, I realised that its it <em>(or</em> this<em>)</em> probably was not the right “opposite side” of the road, but it was too late to try to move somewhere else.
I knew I was sweating but could I sweat be sweating that so much that my shirt and my shorts got wet? I looked down and saw that Yulka's backpack (I was caring carrying her on the frame of my bike) was completely wet... The watermelon....I stopped and told her to throw it away. She refused. I told her that otherwise she will would* have TO WALK home with HER watermelon. She stared at me for a while with her eyes full of tears and finally thrown threw away what she succeeded to collect from of* the watermelon inside her backpack.
(*Would - because it is in the past)

We reached our neighbourhood in the darkness. Yulka's mother was rushing around the neighbourhood, she was wearing a bathrobe and caring carrying the belt which was coiled around her wrist. When she saw us, she gave me that look, in which I could read that she wont would not* give me any sweets any more and then she took Yulka by the ear and pulled her home.

(*Won't is will not. Here you need would not - or wouldn't, because the narration is in the past - a future event to this past time, what we call 'future in the past')

From this day on, since Yulka was forbidden to hang out with me, every thing we did together, we did it secretly.

I enjoyed reading your story, Dari!

Your English is very good. You used a lot of nice sentence structures and more advanced expressions. Excellent job.

March 6, 2015