Move to Shanghai The most important decision that I have ever made was to move to Shanghai from my province after I finished my undergraduate study. It was two months before I graduated from our u

Katrina

Move to Shanghai The most important decision that I have ever made was to move to Shanghai from my province after I finished my undergraduate study. It was two months before I graduated from our university that a middle school of Shanghai came to our university to recruit new teachers for their school. When I knew that I was qualified to work in the Shanghai school, I made myself calm down and pondered this matter. Shanghai was a totally strange city for me and it was two hours’ flight away from our province.I still remember that in the evening of that April, I called my parents from our dormitory to ask their advice. My parents told me to follow my heart and they would not stop me if I decided to go working in Shanghai. Finally I made up my mind to move to Shanghai. Why did I make this decision to leave my parents and the familiar environment? Two reasons- First, I wanted to see things I had never seen and to experience things I had never experienced. I believed Shanghai, this metropolis would offer more to me than our city; Second, I believed Shanghai would be a better place for personal development. This decision has affected me in many ways. Even I could say this decision has changed me. Living and working in Shanghai by myself made me become a very independent woman and let me discover more potentials of myself. I definitely can say this--if I hadn’t gone to live and work in Shanghai, I would not come to Australia.

Mar 2, 2015 11:28 AM

Corrections · 10

Why did I make this decision to leave my parents and the familiar environment? Two reasons:- First, I wanted to see things I had have never seen or and to experience things I had never experienced before. [Better to say, "I wanted to see and experience new things"] I believed that metropolitan Shanghai, this metropolis would offers much more to me than our than my city can. Second, Finally I believed Shanghai she/it would be a better place for my personal development.

This decision has affected me in many ways. Even I could dare say this decision has it changed me! Living and working in Shanghai by myself here made me become a very independent woman and let allows me discover more the potentials of myself in me. I definitely can say this: --if I hadn’t gone to live and work in Shanghai, I would not come to be here in Australia.

写得好, 比很多写得更好, 但你还有些基礎表达问題, 例如善用代词, 用現代或过去式的涵义.

March 2, 2015

Moving to Shanghai

The most important decision that I had ever made was to move to Shanghai from my province after I finished [明顯, 多餘] my undergraduate study.

It was two months before I graduated from our university graduation that a middle school of from Shanghai came to our university to recruit new teachers for their school. When I knew that I was qualified to work for them in the Shanghai school, I made myself calmed down and pondered on this matter. Shanghai was is [过去式即上海現在对你不陌生了, 所以在這/情形/語境/之下, 現代式最适合] a totally strange city for to me. and It was is a [事实[或知的]定要用現代式. They thought the earth WAS flat, 以前是事實, 不过現在不是了] two hours’ flight away from our [突然出来了一个第二者!] my province.__I still remember that in the evening of that April, I called my parents from our my dormitory to ask for their advice. My parents They told me to follow my heart and they would not stop me if I decided to go working in Shanghai. Finally I made up my mind to move to there Shanghai.