Mary
something about me My name is Mary. I was born in Padua and I'm 40 years old. I live in Cam, a little village very close to Venice. I live in a flat with my husband and my doughter. Her name's Claire. I work in the import-export department of a Company which trades in shoes and bags. This year I'm attending an intermediate level English course to improve my English and I'm going to attend an intermediate-upper next year. I think that the course next year will be more difficult than this one. I sudied accountancy but I studied also French and German. I used these 2 languages for work for 8 years but now the language that I use at most is English. In my opinion German is the most difficult language to lern. French is less difficult than German. English is the easiest. I studied also Spanish but I have only a basic knowledge of it. I consider myself an open mind person. The others find me sociable, friendly, kind, elegant in behavior and sensitive. At the beginning I'm reserved when I'm not confident in the other people. I enjoy the common things. I like simple things like a sunny day or a summer breeze on my face. I think to be a lucky girl because I don't need luxury goods or extreme experiences to be happy. On my work I'm very active. This could be the reason why I'm so lazy in my freetime.
Mar 2, 2015 1:03 PM
Corrections · 2

Something About Me:

 

My name is Mary. I was born in Padua, Italy and I am 40 years old. I currently live in a flat with my husband and my daughter Claire in a town called Cam, a little village very close to Venice. I work in the import-export department of a company that trades in shoes and bags.


This year I am taking an intermediate level English course to further my skills in the language. Next year I'm planning on taking an intermediate-upper level course. My area of focus (or "I majored in...") in college was accounting. I also studied French and German, which I have utilized at work for the last eight years, but now I mainly use English. In my opinion, German is the most difficult language to learn. French is less difficult than German, and English is the easiest. I also studied Spanish, but I only know the basics.

 

Most people consider me to be sociable, open-minded, sensitive, kind, (I omitted "friendly" because it basically means the same thing as "kind") and elegant in behavior ("dignified"? "proper"- I'm not sure what you want to say here). When I first meet someone, I am reserved but warm up after I feel more comfortable.

 

I enjoy the simple things in life, like a sunny day or the summer breeze on my face. I think I'm a lucky girl (or lady) because I don't need expensive things or extreme experiences to be happy. In my work, I am very active; this could be the reason why I'm so lazy in my free time!

 

 

Wow what a great job! This is just an alternative to Seth's above. I did a little reworking and combined some sentences so there weren't several short ones together. I also wrote out your numbers. Generally the "rule of thumb" is to write out numbers less than 10. I also took out some redundent (or "goes without saying" sentences). As I am learning in the Italian language you can say something several different ways, but if you want to sound Italian there is a certain way to say it! This is just my English take on your paragraph. I am not an English teacher but this is "just my two cents!" — As we say in America. Keep going you are doing an awesome job! I wish I knew as much in Italian!

March 12, 2015

Something About Me

 

My name is Mary. I was born in Padua and I'm 40 years old. I live in Cam; a little village very close to Venice. I live in a flat with my husband and my daughter. Her name's Claire.
I work in the import-export department of a company which trades in shoes and bags.
This year I'm attending an intermediate level English course to improve my English and I'm going to attend an intermediate-upper course next year. I think that the course next year will be more difficult than this one. I studied accountancy but I studied also French and German. I used these 2 languages for work for 8 years but now the language that I use at most is English. In my opinion, German is the most difficult language to learn. French is less difficult than German. English is the easiest. I also studied also Spanish but I have only a basic knowledge of it. I consider myself an open-minded person. The Others find me sociable, friendly, kind, elegant in behavior and sensitive.


At the beginning I'm reserved when I'm not confident in the other people.
I enjoy the common things. I like simple things like a sunny day or a summer breeze on my face. I think to be I'm a lucky girl because I don't need luxury goods or extreme experiences to be happy. In my work I'm very active. This could be the reason why I'm so lazy in my free time.

------------------------------

Very well written. This may look like a lot of correction but it isn't at all; mostly I think you need to focus on word order and spelling. I'm surprised to hear that you find German so difficult; I always believed that it was very similar to English :)

March 2, 2015
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!