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I Met a Dreamer Today,after school I met up with a Colombian girl who lived in the USA since she was three years old. She told me that she lived in the state of Virginia with her parents, and they were deported to Colombia in December. Her Spanish is good, but her accent sounds very American and she sometimes makes minor mistakes in Spanish. I think it must be hard to move to the country where you were born but weren't raised. After our conversation, I arrived at the conclusion that she taught me a valuable lesson; You always have to move forward regardless of the obstacles and the bad events. She's planning on pursuing a degree in economics in a univerisity in Bogota. And she got over the fact that she's banned from entering the USA again. Unlike other latinos, I think these kinds of events are not the US government's fault. It's the parents of these children's fault, who took them to that country illegally. They were aware of the fact that they were immigration offenders and that they were breaking the law. Rules and laws must be respected. Otherwise, what this world would be like if everybody did whatever they pleased ? By the way, dreamers is what people who have lived illegally in America since they were children are called. Barack Obama has refered to them many times in some of his speeches.
Mar 3, 2015 1:21 AM
Corrections · 10
1

I Met a Dreamer

Today, after school I met up with a Colombian girl who has lived in the USA since she was three years old. She told me that she had been living in the state of Virginia with her parents, and they were deported to Colombia in December. Her Spanish is good, but her accent sounds very American, and she sometimes makes minor mistakes in Spanish. I think it must be hard to move to the country where you were born but weren't raised.


After our conversation, I arrived at the conclusion that she had taught me a valuable lesson: You always have to move forward regardless of the obstacles and the bad events. She's planning on pursuing a degree in economics in a univerisity in Bogota. And she has gotten over the fact that she's banned from reentering the USA again.


Unlike other Latinos, I think these kinds of events are not the US government's fault. It's the fault of the parents of these children's fault, who took them their children to that country illegally. They were aware of the fact that they were immigration offenders, and that they were breaking the law. Rules and laws must be respected. Otherwise, what this world would be like if everybody did whatever they pleased?


By the way, "dreamers" is what people who have lived illegally in America since they were children are called. Barack Obama has referred to them many times in some of his speeches.

 

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corrections

suggestions

spacing

 

, and- Other choices- "at the time that" "when "


Her Spanish is good, but her accent sounds very American, and she sometimes makes minor mistakes in Spanish.  In American English, the comma is necessary after "American". The sentence is a bit bulky due to the conjunctions (but/ and). Here is an alternative ways: 

Although her Spanish is good, she speaks it with an accent making minor mistakes.

In your sentence "her accent" is ambiguous.  She speaks Spanish with an American accent or she speaks English with an American accent.  Adding "it" clears it up. 


arrived at the conclusion  I would substitute "realized"


Nicely written.  You have an calm writing style.

March 3, 2015

I Met a Dreamer

Today, after school I met up with a Colombian girl who's lived in the USA since she was three years old. She told me that she'd lived in the state of Virginia with her parents, and they were deported to Colombia in December. Her Spanish is good, but her accent sounds very American and she sometimes makes minor mistakes in Spanish. I think it must be hard to move back (not needed but would commonly be used) to the country where you were born but weren't raised.
After our conversation, I arrived at the conclusion that she taught me a valuable lesson; You (capitalization - use either "; you..." or ". You...") always have to move forward regardless of the ("the" is correct gramatically, but not needed becuase you are talking about a general lesson) obstacles and the bad events. She's planning on pursuing a degree in economics in/at ("in" is ok, but I would use the word "at" here) a univerisity in Bogota. And she got over the fact that she's banned from entering the USA again.
Unlike other latinos, I don't think these kinds of events are not the US government's fault. It's the parents's fault for bringing of these children's fault, who took them to that country illegally. They were aware of the fact that they were immigration offenders and that they were breaking the law. Rules and laws must be respected. Otherwise, what would this world would be like if everybody did whatever they pleased?
By the way, "dreamers" is what people who have lived illegally in America since they were children are called. Barack Obama has refered to them many times in some of his speeches.

 

To say "dreamers is what" makes the sentence sound incorrect until you read all the way to the end "...are called". Using quotations helps to separate the plural name "Dreamers" from the singular verb "is". 


Alternatively: 

"By the way, people who have lived illegally in America since they were children are called dreamers." 

 

 



March 3, 2015

I Met a Dreamer

Today,after school I met up with a Colombian girl who lived in the USA since she was three years old. She told me that she lived in the state of Virginia with her parents, and they were deported to Colombia in December. Her Spanish is good, but her accent sounds very American and she sometimes makes minor mistakes in Spanish. I think it must be hard to move to the country where you were born but weren't raised.
After our conversation, I arrived at the conclusion that she taught me a valuable lesson; You always have to move forward regardless of the obstacles and the bad events. She's planning on pursuing a degree in economics in (better: at) a univerisity in Bogota. And she got over the fact that she's banned from entering the USA again.
Unlike other latinos, I think these kinds of events are not the US government's fault.

 

It's the parents' of these children fault, who took them to that country illegally.

en ingles, es dificil decir este tipo de cosa. Yo, no sé.  prefiero: It is the fault of the parents of these children, who took..

No creo que puedas decir parent's of these children's fault, pero hay gente más inteligente que yo y quizás ellos nos digan

 

They were aware of the fact that they were immigration offenders and that they were breaking the law. Rules and laws must be respected. Otherwise, what this world would be like if everybody did whatever they pleased ?
By the way, dreamers is what people who have lived illegally in America since they were children are called. Barack Obama has referred to them many times in some of his speeches.

March 3, 2015
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