Jefferson
We almost passed away today - Challenge one text every day Lifts are dangerous, there's no doubt about it! Many horror movies have lifts killing people, and today one of these stories almost happened to Luiza and me. We were in a building of our University, we got on the lift, as always, but something went wrong! It anormally increased its aceleration and suddenly braked down doing a strange noise of metal friction. The door stayed for a while closed and then, fortunately, openned, we scaped as fast as we could. Well, I think I'll use upstairs from now, that's is good for workout legs haha. I would apreciate if you corrected another text that I wrote a time ago. I still without any correction. http://www.italki.com/entry/525418 Text 006/365. A friend ( Luiza Zerlotini) and I are going to write one text per day for one year! Please help us with corrections, suggestions, ideas. =D
Mar 3, 2015 2:14 AM
Corrections · 4
1

We almost passed away today - Challenge one text every day

Lifts are dangerous, there's no doubt about it!
Many horror movies have lifts killing people, and today one of these stories almost happened to Luiza and me.
We were in a building of our University. We got in the lift, as always, but something went wrong!
It abormally increased its aceleration and suddenly braked broke down doing making a strange noise of metal friction. The door stayed closed for a while closed and then, fortunately, opened. We escaped as fast as we could.

Well, I think I'll use the up stairs from now on; it that's is good for workingout legs haha.
I would apreciate it if you corrected another text that I wrote a time ago. It is still without any correction.
http://www.italki.com/entry/525418
Text 006/365.
A friend ( Luiza Zerlotini) and I are going to write one text per day for one year! Please help us with corrections, suggestions, ideas. =D

 

Things 'make' noise.
From now on = A partir daqui 

It's a good initiative. I should 'take a leaf out of your book'. (take a leaf out of your book = follow your example).

 

 

 

March 5, 2015
1

We almost passed away today - Challenge one text every day

Lifts are dangerous, there's no doubt about it!
Many horror movies have lifts killing people, and today one of these stories almost happened to Luiza and me.
We were in a building of our University, we got on the lift, as always, but something went wrong!
It anormally increased its aceleration and suddenly braked down stopped doing making a strange noise of metal friction load screeching noise. The door stayed for a while closed  closed for a while and then, fortunately, opened, we scaped  ran? as fast as we could.

Well, I think I'll use the upstairs from now on, that's it is good for to workout the legs haha.
I would apreciate if you corrected another text that I wrote a time ago. I still without any correction.
http://www.italki.com/entry/525418
Text 006/365.
A friend ( Luiza Zerlotini) and I are going to write one text per day for one year! Please help us with corrections, suggestions, ideas. =D

March 3, 2015

Today, We almost Died!passed away today - A Challenge: An Essay Per Day one text every day

 

Lifts are dangerous, This is very ambiguous and unclear.  At first I thought it is "hitchhiking" which people get killed more often than in elevators.] Getting into lifts is dangerous! [Better still and shorter, "Elevators are dangerous!] there's No doubt about it!


Many horror movies have depicted lifts killing people being killed in there. , and Today one of these stories scenarios almost happened to Luiza and me. [Short sentences give movement, excitement and anticipation.  Story writing is different from formal or casual writing.  You have to make the reader feel as if they were right there as they read]


We were in a university building of our University, and as usual, we got on into the lift, as always, but Then something went wrong!

 

It accelerated and then stopped suddenly as we heard horrible metallic sounds scraping away. The doors steadfastly remained closed.  Thank heavens when it opened by itself unexpectedly!  We crap out as fast as we could.
It anormally increased its aceleration and suddenly braked down doing a strange noise of metal friction. The door stayed for a while closed and then, fortunately, openned, we escaped as fast as we could.

Well, From now on, I shall think I'll use upstairs.  Ain't going to play dice with my life. [Usually I don't recommend using "ain't" but in this situation, it packs the punch of your sentiment.]  from now, Anway, exercising my legs is a that's is good thing! for workout legs haha.


I would apreciate if you corrected another text that I wrote a time ago. I still without any correction.
http://www.italki.com/entry/525418
Text 006/365.
A friend ( Luiza Zerlotini) and I are going to write one text per day for one year! Please help us with corrections, suggestions, ideas. =D   See http://www.italki.com/entry/528652

March 4, 2015
hahahahaa! Good writting, I felt like in a suspense book. =) No more lift to us, after yesterday!!!!!!
March 3, 2015
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