Improving our area

Dear Friend,

I hope you are well

I have been thinking about the report written by Professor MacDonalds in “The Environment” magazine about how to improve recycling in our area. Moreover, I know you would be interested insomuch as you are an environmentalist, taking part in Greenpeace activities, and that you are fighting to conserve environmentally friendly projects all over the world. I would like to request action owing to the fact we are massively polluting. We should work together to persuade people in this town to change.

Firstly, the oil refinery should be closed. It is emptying toxic waste into the river. I couldn´t agree more that the economy of the town would be harmed because of the majority of people work there. If the Petronor factory doesn´t recycle we will complain soon. The number of cancer cases has increased since the oil refinery has opened. In addition, the fishing association disappeared last year, why? You can imagine, the fauna of the river has been extinguished destroyed. We should take care of the ecosystem.

Secondly, by becoming more ecological our town would boost renewable energies like wind power and solar energy, eco-friendly energies. Furthermore, it would be marvellous for students who would learn to live in a healthy environment. If we achieved managed to teach our students in actions like, waste separation or avoiding driving a car in for short distances, we would have a safer future. For instance, it would help to conserve to the ozone layer as well as to avoid the greenhouse effect which it is causing the global warming.

I hope to hear from you soon.
Francis.

Great stuff! My corrections are in red and my suggestions to sound more natural are in blue/grey.

I also agree with Alan that "insomuch" is not used much these days. I don't think it's wrong, it's just a bit unusual. You can simply say "as you are an environmentalist" or "since you are an environmentalist".

Improving our area

Dear Friend,

I hope you are well.

I have been thinking about the report written by Professor MacDonalds in “The environment” magazine <em>The Environment</em> about how to improve recycling in our area. Moreover, I know you would be interested insomuch as you are an environmentalist, taking part in Greenpeace, and you are fighting to conserve environmentally friendly projects all over the world. I would like to request action owing to due to the fact we are massively polluting. We should work together to persuade people in this town.

Firstly, the oil refinery should be closed. It is emptying toxic waste into the river. I couldn´t agree more the economy of the town would be harmed because of the majority of people work there. If Petronor factory doesn´t recycle we will complain soon. The number of cancer cases has increased since the oil refinery has opened. In addition, the fishing association disappeared last year, why? You can imagine,: or ; the fauna of the river has been extinguished. We should take care of the ecosystem.

Secondly, by becoming ecologically minded our town would boost renewable eco-friendly energies like such as wind power and solar energy. , eco-friendly energies. Furthermore, it would be marvellous for students, who would learn to live in a healthy environment. If we achieved to teach teaching our students in actions like, such as waste separation or and avoiding driving a car in short distances, we would have a safe future. For instance, it would help to conserve to the ozone layer as well as to avoid the greenhouse effect which it is causing the global warming.

I hope to hear from you soon.
Francis.