Maggie
You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager Dear Frank, I am writing to request some paid leave next month. My father’s 80th birthday anniversary is on November 25th. My Mother already rented a big house accommodating for all the family numbers. As the whole family didn’t meet together many years, my parents want to celebrate the special day with their all children and grandchildren. I still have seven paid holiday. So I will take some time off work from November 21th to 27th. I don’t have urgent plans on that week. Susan will in charge of the group of product management. She will follow the finished project if it needs to renew something. Tom will cover market management and finish the new project’s market campaign. They are good and they will report to you directly. I also gave them my phone number, making sure if they have problem that they can find me anytime. I would be very grateful if you could allow me this time. My father supported me a lot, this is a good chance to thank him. And I desire to meet the whole family too. Sincerely yours,
Mar 4, 2015 8:30 AM
Corrections · 4
1

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager

Dear Frank,

I am writing to request some paid leave next month.

My father’s 80th birthday anniversary is on November 25th. My Mother already rented a big house to accommodate for all the family numbers. As the whole family didn’t meet hasn't been together for many years, my parents want to celebrate the special day with their all their children and grandchildren.

I still have seven paid holiday. So I will take some time off work from November 21th to 27th. I don’t have urgent plans on that week. Susan will in be charge of the group of product management. She will follow the finished project if it needs to renew something. Tom will cover market management and finish the new project’s marketing campaign. They are good and they will report to you directly. I also gave them my phone number, making sure if they have problem that they can find me anytime.

I would be very grateful if you could allow me this time. My father supported me a lot, this is a good chance to thank him. And I desire to meet the whole family too.

Sincerely yours,

March 5, 2015

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager

Dear Frank,

I am writing to request some paid leave next month.

My father’s 80th birthday anniversary <em>(birthday is already an anniversary)</em> is on November 25th. My Mother has already booked rented/rental accommodation a big house accommodating for all the/the whole family numbers. As the whole family hasn’t come together for many years, my parents want to celebrate the special day with all their all children and grandchildren.

I still have seven unused days of paid annual leave holiday so I will request permission to take some time off work from November 21th to 27th. I don’t have urgent plans/tasks on for/during that week. Susan will be in/take charge of the group of product management group. She will follow up on the finished project if it needs to renewal/revision of anything something. Tom will cover market management and finish the new project’s market campaign. They are good, capable workers and they will report to you directly. I also gave them my phone number, making sure that if they have problem that they can find contact me anytime.

I would be very grateful if you could allow me this time. My father has supported me a lot/great deal, this is a good chance to thank him. And of course I desire to meet the whole family too.

Sincerely yours,

 

<em>Good! Some suggestions ... I think it would score 7-7.5</em>

 

April 16, 2015
good work. it's a good piece of writing with only a few mistakes
March 5, 2015
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