The following are the questions from the author...

<em>Thanks for the correction, Jeff! I have several questions after reading the correction. 1. Their smiles totally winsome. Do we have to add "are" before totally? (Refer to part 1 of this entry) 2. His affectionate and dimpled smile had my heart won over. What should we use "had" instead of "has"? 3. Fan my jealousy to no end. I absolutely love your expression, but apparently I can't write some sentences like this at this stage. I understand the meaning but can't come across this kind of expression. How can I write in this way? By imitation? Or can you give advice? How can I present "warmth" in this sort of personal creative writing? Thank you!</em>

<em>http://www.italki.com/entry/538095</em>;

<em>
</em>

Answer 1:

"... and their smiles, totally winsome..."  If you add, "are" to the sentence to become, "... and their smiles are totally winsome..." will become too formal sounding, like a report. By changing it into a phrase, it becomes more "personalized" and more warmth is felt because of the "dramatic pause" indicated by the comma.  In creative writing, you need to know when you dramatic pauses to make your essay more effective.

Answer 2:  "has" is present tense.  Present tense is also used for facts or perceived truths.  You can use the present tense here because to you, it is the truth that he had stolen your heart.  However, it is better to use past tense because the action of doing so had already taken place otherwise you won't be so enamored by him. In your original line, you did not use "has" but the verb "wins".  Now this is wrong because the sentence did not indicate you are talking about percieved truths or facts.  Just a personal opinion. Clearly you are speaking something that was in the past.  So past tense is a must.  You are not trying to talk about the past as if it is now taking place like a movie scene to show the audience.

Answer 3:  Thanks for the compliments but I did not come up with this original wording.  It is from reading books etc.  Usually, it used like this, "His eyes of lust fanned the smouldering flames of passion within her, an emotion that she had never known before".  So I adapted and replaced one emotion for another. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  This is why we read, we copy and we adapt.  This can only comes from reading and writing.  Of course it also depends on what you read.  If you always read reports, then you can never write this way.  Report writing is of another style, totally different.  No one reads reports or legal matter just for enjoyment.  In the end, my advice is to read as many types of books as possible, including poetry.

Script writing is another form which has to be learnt from special classes - how to write a good dialogue.  You get an Academy Award for this.  Again, it will be totally different from creative writing!

Good Bye Zayn Malik

Yesterday was probably a heartbreaking day for worldwide One Direction’s worldwide fans. One of the members, Zayn Malik, had announced to leave the band. Four of them remain in the band to The remaining four will continue the tour and as well as to record the group's fifth album.

I came across to One Direction 2 two years ago. Honestly, neither them nor their music nor they was were appealing for me. At first, I could hardly recognize remember their names or their faces and names initially. All I remembered was my best friend saying “just another pretty faced teenage boy band with solely handsome faces.” to my bestie [Don't use slang in formal essays] on our way to school. However, my girlfriend said giggly giggled that I would discover and fall for their charms. and be fond of them soon. Things went exactly on her as scripted.: I found their music catchy, their lyrics were expressive of well expressed from a teenager’s thoughts, point of view and their smiles totally winsome... were healing. Thus I turned out to became a fan, though not a crazy one, of One Direction.

Niall and Harry have always been my favorite among the five of them. I love Niall because of his spontaneous personality and being a guitar player. Harry is always a heartthrob for many of his female fan girls. His affectionate and dimpled smile wins had my heart won over. The only complaint to of him is his seriousness towards in a relationship. Zayn gives an impression of being nice, quiet and sometimes humorous. Being a British Pakistani, Zayn’s his sharp facial features, ahhhh... Especially the his long and curvy eyelashes; and the ooohhh... That pair of magnetic and deep brown eyes, fan my drive me jealousy to no end.  of.

My bestie pal and I had the most exciting Wednesday of last week. We went to their One Direction’s On the Road Again Tour 2015 held in at the Hong Kong Asia Expo Center. The show was supposed to start at 8pm but turned out to be at 9pm instead. Our tickets were of for the standing zone. We arrived at 4:30pm to line up. Four out of the five members performed with enthuaism, agitatedly, singing to, and talking with and to pep up the cheering fans up. However, Zayn appeared to be weary and sad, however. Halfway through the concert, Zayn burst into tears. I could see tear them streaming down his face. Being a professional performer, he composed himself in a flash and kept to keep the show went going on. The show finally came to an ended after 90 minutes. We returned home with contentment and excitement.