Cynthia Poon
Good Bye Zayn Malik (Con't) Zayn announced to drop out of Manila’s show and flew back to London alone the next day. He announced to leave the band a week later. The one in Hong Kong became the last show of 5-piece One Direction, we were lucky to witness it. A public figure’s life lacks of privacy, every move is being caught on camera exposing to the world. Life of a 22-year-old should be carefree but not being judged by others. I absolutely understand his decision and his desperate desire for living ordinarily. I want to say a massive thank you to Zayn for everything he has done for One Direction so far. Thank you for all the laughter and tear delivered to us. I respect your decision and appreciate your spunk of being true to yourself.
Mar 27, 2015 2:47 PM
Corrections · 4

Good Bye Zayn Malik (Con't)

Zayn announced to he will drop out of Manila’s show and flew back to London alone the next day. He The announcement announced to leave the band came a week later. [Grammatically, nothing wrong but you used the same structure and same wording as the first sentence.  So this is not too good] The one in Hong Kong performance thus became the last show swan song of the five man show. 5-piece One Direction, We were lucky to witness to catch it. A public figure’s life lacks of privacy; every move is being caught on camera and exposed to the world. The life of a 22-year-old should be carefree but not being without the judgement of the whole wide world. judged by others. This is the price of fame.  If one cannot handle of the kitchen, he is wise to get out. I absolutely understand his decision and his desperate desire for living to an ordinarily life.

I want to say a massive big heartfelt thank you to Zayn for everything he had done for One Direction so far. I thank you for all the laughter and tearyou had given  delivered to us. I respect your decision and appreciate your spunk of being true to yourself.

 

On the whole, your English is good.  The problems are minor and in time, you will overcome them.  However, in this sort of personal creative writing, you need to tell your story with more warmth.  So you were wrong in your mail about your writing being "scary".  As the matter of fact, you expressed very well in terms of flow etc.

March 30, 2015

Good Bye Zayn Malik (Con't)

Zayn announced that he would to drop out of Manila’s show and flew back to London alone the next day. He announced to that he would leave the band a week later. The one show in Hong Kong became the last show of the 5-piece (or 5 member) One Direction and we were lucky to witness see it. A public figure’s life lacks of privacy, every move is being caught on camera and exposed to the world. The life of a 22-year-old should be carefree but and not being judged by others. I absolutely understand his decision and his desperate desire for living ordinarily an ordinary life.

I want to say a massive thank you to Zayn for everything he has done for One Direction so far. Thank you for all the laughter and the tears delivered to you brought us. I respect your decision and appreciate your spunk (or spirit) of being true to yourself.

 

你写得好极了!加油!

March 29, 2015
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