Hi,
Great job! This is a great article with a lot of interesting facts.
There are a coulpe spots that are not very clear. I tried to give you some comments to help clarify.
Green - just suggestions to sound more natural. not really wrong.
Blue is my comments about things you wrote
red is for changes
Places and forms of power - Social media influence in our society Part 1
So here is the part 1 of my third text for my oral examination (I have to do four in total). Hope you could correct it :)
In the notion (Im not sure what you meen here. I think you are trying to say "article" or "essay") places and forms of power, I will talk about the influence of social media in our society. The (not sure about other countries but in the USA everyone says "the internet") Internet is indeed one of the most powerful tools of influence today. And who says influence says control and says power. (And the one who has influence has control and power.) We’re going to see to what extend are social media is influencing our society?
First of all, we see how social media are is present in our everyday life. According to an article form the Dwight Look College of engineering in Texas entitled « Social media by numbers » :
Facebook and Twitter combined have more than 1.2 billon users.
If Facebook was a country, it would be the third largest, larger than the United states of America.
Youtube is the second largest search engine.
Facebook gets more weekly traffic than the largest search engine Google.
I also found on youtube that :
More people own a mobile device than a toothbrush.
Every two seconds new members join LinkedIn : that’s like the entire enrollment of the ivy league joining LinkedIn everyday.
1 in 5 couples meet online.
More than half of the human resources professionals use social networking websites to source potential candidates and more than 14 millions people used social media in 2013 to find a new job.
Every minute 72 hours of video are uploaded to Youtube.
Social media are is the first activity on the web. (This is not exactly clear what you are trying to say. You could say.. " is the first thing people do when they get on the web" or I think you are trying to say this "social media is the number one activity on the web" which means it's the largest activit on the web. or you could simply say "social media is the largest activity on the web". It concerns as the young generations as the seniors. ( Im not sure what you are saying here. I think you are trying to say "It is used by the younger generations and by seniors" ) Social media are is also very used for used very much for (to sound more natural you could say "Very often used for") marketing strategies (cookies, tweets, advertisements…etc).
So we can say that social media are is truly present in our society. (at least in the USA that is how we would say it. The UK might say "are", i'm not sure. when we say "social media" we we think of it as one big thing even though it is made of many different parts. So to us "social media" is singular. )
I hope that helps :)
Places and forms of power
In the notion places and forms of power, I will talk about the influence of social media in our society. Internet is indeed one of the most powerful tools of influence today. And who says influence says control and says power The notion of influence is directly linked to control and power. We’re going to see; what extent are social media influencing our society?
First of all, everyone can see how social media are present in our everyday life. According to an article form the Dwight Look College of engineering in Texas entitled « Social media by numbers » :
Facebook and Twitter combined have more than 1.2 billon users.
If Facebook was a country, it would be the third largest, larger than the United States of America.
Youtube is the second largest search engine.
Facebook gets more weekly traffic than the largest search engine Google.
I also found on youtube that :
More people own a mobile device than a toothbrush.
Every two seconds new members join LinkedIn : that’s like the entire enrollment of the ivy league join LinkedIn everyday.
1 in 5 couple meet online.
More than half of the human resources professionals use social networking websites to source potential candidates and more than 14 millions used social media in 2013 to find a new job.
Every minute 72 hours of video (?? rephrase it) are uploaded to Youtube.
Social media are the first activity on the web. It concerns as the young generations as the seniors. Social media are also very used for marketing strategies (cookies, tweets, advertisements…).
So we can say that social media are truly present in our society.
Great ! Your teacher is going to love it. I can tell you that if you said it on the exam day you will have 20 out of 20. I remember I have past this exam last years.
