highly paid job

[exam questions: some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?]

My answer:

Nowadays, some people hold the opinion that entertainers, such as singers, film stars or sport starts, are paid too much money. As far as I am concerned, I don't agree with them.
As we know, all the super stars have to work very hard. Therefore, they deserve a higher pay. Many people only see they are so rich and successful, but ignore the efforts before they became famous and the hard times behind their successes. Besides, only a few entertainers have the fortune to become super star. There are a large number of singers and dancers, for example, a singer singing pop music in a bar, whose salaries are not high.
From my point of view, a highly paid job should have some essential factors.
First of all, it needs to be very professional, which means the workers have to take a long time and a lot energy on studying and practicing in special areas. For instance, a doctor or nurse has enough relevant skills and experience. This kind of profession is not easy to learn or be replaced. Thus, they are reasonable to get a higher pay.
Secondly, a job which is in lacking in the labor market should be a high salary job. This lack might due to the work itself. For example, only a few people choose to work outside, so there are many outside jobs in the market. Another reason might be caused by the education system, which has not educated enough skilled people to satisfy the needs of the labor market. Naturally, the employers have to pay more money to find a right person to join them.
To sum up, considering the efforts that the entertainers made before, they deserve more money. Because of the profession of job and the impact of the labor market, a skilled job, which is also lacking in the market, needs to be paid highly.

Nicely written. Keep up the good work!