Application to a Master Before coming into XXX, I did not know what I wanted to do. I only knew that I was willing to work in an international environment. That is why I applied for the XXX. It is an

Lissa

Application to a Master Before coming into XXX, I did not know what I wanted to do. I only knew that I was willing to work in an international environment. That is why I applied for the XXX. It is an international program that covers every sector of the business. I wanted to "touch" as many sector that I could before specializing myself in a sector. And I get interested in Finance and Accounting because I had some comfort with it, which is why I specialized in Accounting & Finance. For long time, I was interested in Fashion and many artistic domain (i.e. dance and theater). That is the reason why I choose to do internships and student jobs in this sector. They helped me to understand the system of apparel business from producing clothes to the consumer motivations to buy shoes and clothes. It was – and it is still today – a real priority in my life to understand the fashion industry from many point of view of the business. I have a real interest in Fashion and Luxury. I love reading articles and check the news of brands and people. I think it is a beautiful and fascinating world with a lot of history and symbols. My sense of fashion, challenge and perfection gave me the wish to work in the luxury industry. The current program I am attending, developed my sense of team work through the different group assignment we had to do. Its international background, my travels and the numerous meetings with people from around the globe taught me how to adapt myself in an international environment. I also improved my skills to do speech and presentations.

Apr 25, 2015 5:25 PM

Corrections · 5

This is some very impressive writing--well done!

Application to a Master

Before coming into XXX, I did not know what I wanted to do. I only knew that I was willing to work in an international environment. That is why I applied for the XXX. It is an international program that covers every sector of the business. I wanted to "touch" as many sector that I could sectors as I could before specializing myself in a sector. (C'est bon, mais pas nécessaire.) And I get became interested in Finance and Accounting because I had some comfort with it was comfortable with it, which is why I specialized in Accounting & Finance.
For a long time, I was interested in Fashion and many artistic domain (i.e. dance and theater). That is the reason why I choose chose to do take on (pas mal, mais "take" ou "take on" sonne mieux) internships and student jobs in this sector. They helped me to understand the system of (pas nécessaire) apparel business, from producing clothes to the consumer motivations to buy shoes and clothes. (Ce n'est pas mauvais, mais l'anglais plus naturel pourrait être ... "These jobs helped me understand all about the apparel business, from clothing production, to what motivates a consumer to buy certain shoes or garments." It was – and it is still today – a real priority in my life to understand the fashion industry from many points of view of the business. (ou peut-être "...to understand many different aspects of the business.") 
I have a real interest in Fashion and Luxury. I love reading articles and checking the news of about brands and people. I think it is a beautiful and fascinating world, with a lot of history and symbols (peut-être vous voulez dire "famous icons"? Je ne sais pas.) My sense of fashion, challenge and perfection gave me the wish to made me want to work in the luxury industry.
The current program I am attending developed my sense of team work teamwork through the different group assignments we had to do. Its international background, my travels and the numerous meetings with people from around the globe taught me how to adapt myself in to an international environment. I also improved my skills to do speech and presentations skills.

Again, very good job! :)

April 25, 2015

Application to a Master

Before coming into XXX, I did not know what I wanted to do. I only knew that I was willing to work in an international environment. That is why I applied for the XXX. It is an international program that covers every sector of the business. I wanted to get experience in as many sectors as I could before specializing myself in a sector. And I get got interested in Finance and Accounting because I had some comfort with it, which is why I specialized in Accounting & Finance.
For long time, I was interested in Fashion and many artistic fields (i.e. dance and theater). That is the reason why I chose to do internships and student jobs in this sector. They helped me to understand the system of apparel business from producing clothes to the consumer motivations to buy shoes and clothes. It was – and is still – a real priority in my life to understand the fashion industry from many points of view of the business.
I have a real interest in Fashion and Luxury. I love reading articles and check the news of brands and people. I think it is a beautiful and fascinating world with a lot of history and symbols. My sense of fashion, challenge and perfection gave me the wish inspired me to work in the luxury industry.
The current program I am attending, developed my sense of team work through the different group assignments we had to do. My international background, my travels and the numerous meetings with people from around the globe taught me how to adapt myself in an international environment. I also improved my skills to do give speeches and do presentations.