Dream

Hello everyone. I am going to talk about my dream. I started to dream about becoming a doctor when I was ten-years-old. As time continued to fly by every year, so did my dream. I wanted to become an engineer when I began to study in high school. However, time changed my mind again when I had to choose between science and mathematics but I chose science. I was good in mathematics though. After completing my secondary high school diploma, I thought I had to choose mathematics again as I wanted to become a computer engineer. I began to think and I took admission in IT college to study BCA. My dream changed to become a programmer. Now, I have completed my graduation in BCA.

Dream

Hello, everyone!  I'm going to talk about what my dream is. I started dreaming to become a doctor when I was ten. Time flew year by year and I had changed my dream and I wanted to become an engineer when I started studying in high school, but again my mind was changed while I was choosing a subject between science and Mathematics, and I chose Science, I was good at mathematics though. After completion of my secondary high school, I thought I had to choose mathematics. Again the dream to being a doctor had faded and I wanted to become a computer engineer. Now what, I made up my mind and
took admission in an IT college to study BCA because I had replaced my dream with a new dream that I wanted to become a programmer. 
Now I have completed my graduation in BCA.

It's my small effort to correct this paragraph.Since I'm also learning English I would like to know about my mistakes in the above correction.