Just random writing
The passenger train has just moved to london. In a second-class smoking compartment for the passengers sit, talking to each other. The man with the longest beard I have ever seen looks irritated, his flustered cheeks and widened nostrils say it all. When I look at my right I can see the familliar surroundings change. I have never been away from the countryside before. I am visiting my aunt. She has lived in London her whole life.
My Comments in blue, corrections in orange
Just random writing
The passenger train to London just started moving.
(Good)
In a second-class smoking compartment 4 passengers sit, talking to each other.
(Good)
The man with the longest beard I have ever seen looks irritated, his flustered cheeks and widened nostrils say it all.
The A man with the longest beard I have ever seen looks irritated, his flustered flushed cheeks and widened nostrils say it all.
It sounds a bit more natural to not use "the" in this sentence, if you say "the man" you are implying maybe there are other men that have a variety of beard sizes :P
Also, the word "flustered" is a mental state, it's kind of a synonym for "confused". If you mean that is cheeks are pink, then the word is flushed.
When I look to my right I can see the familliar surroundings change.
Good
I have never been away from the countryside.
Good
I am visiting my aunt.
Good
She has lived in London her whole life.
Good
Overall, quite good - you might try challenging yourself by trying some more complicated sentences, like maybe rearranging the last bit as:
"I'm visiting my aunt; she has lived in London her whole life, but I've never been away from the countryside."
Using longer sentences can make things feel a bit less choppy - don't go crazy with it, though :). Also, while it is certainly ok to skip contractions when writing (I have = I've, I am = I'm) I would say that in everyday conversation, even at a professional level you are much more likely to use the contraction.
Again, really good job overall, jou Engels is geweldig.
