Carla
September feelings What a dewdrops around me, I search the sun but it there isn’t... The country is still sleeping, maybe not. It is awake, it looks at me, I don’t know. The ground smell, wheat smell, already Go up toward me. And the life in my chest beats slowly, I breath the fog, I think of you. What a vegetation near and also a little further away, The grass seems almost a sea, And my light thought flies and go I fear as if it lost... A horse stretches his neck toward the lawn It stays as me: I steps forward, it sees me, it is just ran away... I breath the fog, I think of you. No, what I am now I don’t know I am as a men who is searching itself No, what I am now I don’t know I am only, only the sound of my step... But meantime the sun is seeping in through the fog by now: The daytime as always will be. Clear air of a September which seems without end Air already cold Water already cold Near colors and silences unique And fallen leafs And grey clouds play hide-and-seek And mine shiver.. The jacket clutched in the chest... A grapes taste... And fingers glutinous.. And the daytime As beautiful goes As always strong As always...
May 23, 2015 1:14 PM
Corrections · 4
2

September feelings

How many dewdrops around me,
I search for the sun, but it isn't there isn’t...
The country is still sleeping, or maybe not.
It is awake, it looks at me, I don’t know. (these are comma splices, but maybe they are a poetic liberty)
The smell of the ground, wheat a smell of wheat, already
Goes (or perhaps "rises") up toward me.
And the life in my chest beats slowly,
I breath the fog, I think of you.
What a vegetation near and also a little further away,
The grass seems almost a sea,
And my light thoughts fly and go (thought is not a collective noun in English, so it needs to be plural)
I fear as if they be lost... (note: the subjective in translated English here sounds very formal or poetic)
A horse stretches his neck toward the lawn
It stays put as I (do):
I steps forward, it sees me, it has just run away...
I breath the fog, I think of you.
No, what I am now I don’t do not know (I think the uncontracted form "do not" is more fitting stylisticly)
I am as a men man who is searching itself himself
No, what I am now I don’t (or "do not") know
I am only, only the sound of my steps... ("step" is not a collective noun)
But meantime meanwhile (or "in the meantime") the sun is seeping in through the fog by now:
The daytime, as always, will be.
Clear air of a September which seems without end
Air already cold
Water already cold
Near colors and silences unique
And fallen leafs
And grey clouds play hide-and-seek
And I shiver..
The jacket clutched to the chest...
A taste of grapes...
And glutinous fingers..
And the daytime
As beautiful goes (these lines seem difficult to translate. maybe "And as the day passes, it is beautiful")
As always strong
As always...

 

This is a nice song.  Good translation.

May 24, 2015
Interesting. Don't know that I can say more about it.
May 23, 2015
This is the translation of a Italian song "Impressioni di Settembre". :-) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzbDUbu1lMM
May 23, 2015
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