Anna
My family There are six people in my family, my parents, my three elder sisters and I. My dad is 65 years old and my mom is 5 years younger. I am the youngest daughter in my family. I am 17 years old. My father is an officer at local bureau while my mother is a housekeeper. Currently, all of my sisters have already been at worked at lived away from home. My parents usually wake up at 5:00 am and work till 5 pm. Despite being such busy, my parents try to spend much time for the family. My mother is a very conscientious and thoughtful woman. She is always the first person to wake up in the morning and prepare breakfast for everyone. My father is always happy to give a helping hand with household. As I am now in my final year at high school preparing for my examination, my parents let me have much time to study. However, I try to help my mother whenever I have free time. We are a very close-knit family and I love y family so much.
May 23, 2015 10:27 PM
Corrections · 6
2

There are six people in my family: My parents, my three older sisters, and I. My dad is 65 years old and my mom is 5 years younger. I am the youngest daughter in my family. I am 17 years old. My father is an officer at local bureau while my mother is a housekeeper. Currently, all of my sisters have already been at worked employed at lived and have moved away from home. My parents usually wake up at 5:00 am and work till 5 pm. Despite being such so busy, my parents try to spend much lots of time for with the family. My mother is a very conscientious and thoughtful woman. She is always the first person to wake up in the morning and prepare breakfast for everyone. My father is always happy to give a helping hand with the household. As I am now in my final year at of high school preparing for my examination exams, my parents let me have much a lot time to study. However, I try to help my mother whenever I have free time. We are a very close-knit family and I love my family so much.

May 23, 2015
1

My Family

There are six people in my family, my parents, my three elder sisters and me. (I). My dad/father is 65 years old and my mom/mum/mother is 5 years younger. At 17 years of age, I am the youngest. (daughter in my family. I am 17 years old.) My father is an officer at a local bureau, while my mother is a housekeeper. Currently, all of my sisters are working and live (have already been at worked at lived) away from home. My parents usually wake (up) at 5:00 am and work till / until 5 pm. but, despite being so (such) busy, they (my parents) try to make as much time for / spend as much time with (for) the family as possible. My mother is a very conscientious and thoughtful woman. She is always the first (person) awake (to wake up in the morning) and prepares breakfast for everyone. My father is always happy to give a helping hand ......in the (with) household / with the housework.  As I am now in my final year at high school preparing for my examination, my parents allow (let) me plenty of study time. (have much time to study.) Nevertheless, (However,) I try to help my mother whenever I have free time. We are a very close-knit family and I love my family so much.

 

Very constructive piece of writing, well punctuated and it reads naturally. My thoughts are as follows: - another option for your opening sentence/salvo would be to say: - 'My family is ....made up of /comprised of ..... six people ......' You have already  confirmed you are the youngest and a girl, so only need to confirm your age. 'Currently' is present tense, so you need to ensure consistenecy within the sentence, so should use either 'work /working' and 'live / living'' (present simple). It depends what emphasis you want to put in the sentence but saying ....'they are working and live away from home' is fine. You can add the conjunction 'but' which joins two sentences and it fits very well. As a phrase on its own, we cannot say 'such busy' - you can in other situations say 'such a busy person' or 'I wasn't busy as such, but ....' . In the context of your sentence, the word you are looking for is 'so'. Instead of 'to wake up in the morning' you can just say 'she is the first awake'. We talk about 'in the household' meaning within the confines of the household. If, however, you mean he helps with doing specific jobs around the house such as washing, cleaning etc. you can say 'with the housework'. Personally, I think 'nevertheless' sounds better in the context of your essay - 'however' tends to get overused.  Good English. Well done!  

May 24, 2015
1

My Family

There are six people in my family, my parents, my three elder sisters and I. My dad is 65 years old and my mom is 5 years younger. I am the youngest daughter in my family. I am 17 years old. My father is an officer at the local bureau, while my mother is a housekeeper. Currently, all of my sisters have already are working and have left been at worked at lived away from home. My parents usually wake up at 5:00 am and work till 5 pm. Despite being suchso  busy, my parents try to spend much time for with the family. My mother is a very conscientious and thoughtful woman. She is always the first person to wake up in the morning and prepare breakfast for everyone. My father is always happy to give a helping hand with household chores. As I am now in my final year at high school preparing for my examination, my parents let me have much time to study. However, I try to help my mother whenever I have free time. We are a very close-knit family and I love my family so much.

May 24, 2015
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!