Mahsa Afm
The Power of Advertising Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is undeniable that technology has had a huge impact on every aspect of human lives. One of these is our approach towards shopping. Some people, including me, believe that too much advertising has resulted in the high sales of merchandises. One of the effects of today’s developed technology can be easily seen in the media. Nowadays there are numerous computer soft-wares which are used in the process of making an advertisement or a TV commercial. This is one of the reasons for the existence of many eye-catching commercials today. In addition, in today’s world, one could find many different brands for a single item. It is obvious that these brands are likely to be in competition with each other for absorbing more customers to buy their product. Creating an interesting and attractive advertisement is considered to be one of the most effective ways of winning in this contest. Being bombarded by this huge media hype could definitely turn some individuals, particularly the younger generation, into compulsive and impulsive shoppers. For example, when a person goes to a mall to purchase a certain product, he or she would probably end up buying a few extra items which are not necessarily needed. This may be due to the unusual discounts or intriguing packaging of a particular item. However, the ones who believe, for this recent excessive shopping trend we have only the media to blame, must know that sometime the individuals are as guilty as the advertising industry. First and foremost, nowadays there are quite a few people who are shop-addicts. For this group, commercials play a minor role because they are addicted to shopping. Furthermore, people who are well-off are more likely to be indifferent towards the advertisements. This has to do with the fact that money is not the issue for them and they just simply would buy almost whatever they want and the effect of commercials on their spending habits or choice of products would be marginal. To conclude, I am convinced that a good commercial can play a vital role in increasing a company’s sale rates, but not everyone can be affected easily by the media hype.
May 26, 2015 11:29 AM
Corrections · 6
2

The Power of Advertising

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is undeniable that technology has had a huge impact on every aspect of human lives. One of these is our approach towards shopping. Some people, including me, believe that too much advertising has resulted in the high sales of merchandises (1).
One of the effects of today’s developed technology can be easily seen in the media. Nowadays there are numerous types of computer software (2) which are used in the process of making an advertisement or a TV commercial. This is one of the reasons for the existence of many eye-catching commercials today. Additionally (3), in today’s world, one could find many different brands for a single item. It is obvious that these brands are likely to be in competition with each other for motivating (4) more customers to buy their product. Creating an interesting and attractive advertisement is considered to be one of the most effective ways of winning in this contest.
Being bombarded by this huge media hype could definitely turn some individuals, particularly the younger generation, into compulsive and impulsive shoppers. For example, when a person goes to a mall to purchase a certain product, he or she would probably end up buying a few extra items which are not necessarily needed. This may be due to the unusual discounts or intriguing packaging of a particular item.
Those who believe, however, that for this recent excessive shopping trend we have only the media to blame, must know that sometimes the individuals is as guilty as the advertising industry. First and foremost, nowadays there are quite a few people who are shopaholics (5). For this group, commercials play a minor role because they are addicted to shopping. Furthermore, people who are well-off are more likely to be indifferent towards the advertisements. This has to do with the fact that money is not the issue for them, and they just simply would buy almost whatever they want. The effect of commercials on their spending habits or choice of products would be marginal.
To conclude, I am convinced that a good commercial can play a vital role in increasing a company’s sale rates, but not everyone can be affected easily by the media hype.

 

(1) 'Merchandise' is uncountable, so don't end with an 's'.

(2) 'Software' is also uncountable, and doesn't need a hyphen in the middle. Alternatively, you could have said 'numerous computer programs'.

(3) I changed 'In addition' to 'additionally' so you wouldn't have consecutive clauses beginning with 'in'. It reads better this way.

(4) 'Absorbing' isn't wrong, but it is a bit of an odd usage here. "Motivating' is the goal of advertising, so I think it is a more native choice.

(5) 'Shopaholic' is the native usage here, at least in the US. It's a bit slangy, but better than 'shop-addict'.

May 26, 2015

The Power of Advertising

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is undeniable that technology has had a huge impact on every aspect of human lives. One of these is our approach towards shopping. Some people, including me, believe that too much advertising has resulted in the high sales of merchandises (1).
One of the effects of today’s developed technology can be easily seen in the media. Nowadays there are numerous types of computer software (2) which are used in the process of making an advertisement or a TV commercial. This is one of the reasons for the existence of many eye-catching commercials today. Additionally (3), in today’s world, one could find many different brands for a single item. It is obvious that these brands are likely to be in competition with each other for motivating (4) more customers to buy their product. Creating an interesting and attractive advertisement is considered to be one of the most effective ways of winning in this contest.
Being bombarded by this huge media hype could definitely turn some individuals, particularly the younger generation, into compulsive and impulsive shoppers. For example, when a person goes to a mall to purchase a certain product, he or she would probably end up buying a few extra items which are not necessarily needed. This may be due to the unusual discounts or intriguing packaging of a particular item.
Those who believe, however, that for this recent excessive shopping trend we have only the media to blame, must know that sometimes the individuals is as guilty as the advertising industry. First and foremost, nowadays there are quite a few people who are shopaholics (5). For this group, commercials play a minor role because they are addicted to shopping. Furthermore, people who are well-off are more likely to be indifferent towards the advertisements. This has to do with the fact that money is not the issue for them, and they just simply would buy almost whatever they want. The effect of commercials on their spending habits or choice of products would be marginal.
To conclude, I am convinced that a good commercial can play a vital role in increasing a company’s sale rates, but not everyone can be affected easily by the media hype.

 

(1) 'Merchandise' is uncountable, so don't end with an 's'.

(2) 'Software' is also uncountable, and doesn't need a hyphen in the middle. Alternatively, you could have said 'numerous computer programs'.

(3) I changed 'In addition' to 'additionally' so you wouldn't have consecutive clauses beginning with 'in'. It reads better this way.

(4) 'Absorbing' isn't wrong, but it is a bit of an odd usage here. "Motivating' is the goal of advertising, so I think it is a more native choice.

(5) 'Shopaholic' is the native usage here, at least in the US. It's a bit slangy, but better than 'shop-addict'.

May 26, 2015
Thanks,happy to hear it :)
May 26, 2015
Perfect! I don't see anything to correct here.This is an excellent piece of writing,well done.
May 26, 2015
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