Discuss about young people nowadays This is the first time to write an eassy for IELTS test. Can you please correct it. Thanks you so much. Topic: In some countries young people are encouraged to w

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Discuss about young people nowadays This is the first time to write an eassy for IELTS test. Can you please correct it. Thanks you so much. Topic: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages or disadvantages for young people who to decide to do this ( at least 250 words) Almost the young people have hard period time in high school so when you complete it, they feel vey happy. They really want to relax by traveling , going somewhere to break pressure study. A year will be a break time helping them to consider what they real think of the future. But thats only for the people who have a good business condition. They will be not worry about money. The others want to work to get more experiences in life. They challenge theirself before join in any university. Definitely it is not a only choice for young people to become the wealthy. Besides they earn a little bit of money to pay for unniversity fee, they will know which field they want to study to suit with them as well. However some young people who get no strong spirit, they will be immerse in relax, they dont have motivation to work or start studying more. They become lazy guys, worthless guys. In my opinion, I dont encourage to have any one year break time to travel, It is so long. maybe one or two months is enough. But for working is develop. It is very usefull for future. P/S: Can you please correct it. Thanks so much.

May 28, 2015 3:52 AM

Corrections · 3

It means in this topic, you must show the advantages and disadvantages of working and traveling, right? I think, in your essay, you didn't focus on main points and had no close reasoning. For, It's also good if young people spend their time to travel. Through exploring, traveling helps them get more knowledge and experience too.

May 28, 2015

Discuss about young people nowadays

This is the first time to write an eassy for IELTS test. Can you please correct it. Thank you so much.

Topic: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages or disadvantages for young people who to decide to do this ( at least 250 words)

Almost the young people have been working hard over a period of time in high school so when you they complete it, they feel vey happy. They really want to relax by traveling , going to somewhere to break pressure study. A year will be a break time helping them to consider what they really think of the future. But it's only for the people who have a good business conditions. They will be not worried about money.
The others want to work to get more experiences in life. They challenge themselves before joining in any university. Definitely it is not a only one choice for young people to become the wealthy. Besides they earn a little bit of money to pay for unniversity fee, they will know which field they want to study to suit with them as well.

However some young people who get no strong spirit, they will be immerse in being relaxed, they don't have motivation to work or start studying more. They become lazy and worthless guys.
In my opinion, I don't encourage to have any one year breaking time to travel. It is so long. Maybe one or two months are enough. But for working is develop. It is very useful for future.

P/S: Can you please correct it. Thanks so much.