Tabias Pittman
升级网速 我每周想使用新的词汇,所以今天的日记是关于“升级网速”。 我回家后我们的网速,总是卡。其实我不太确定为什么,但是这个变成很大的问题。我想跟我妈妈说,我们应该换成新的路由器可能这能修理我们的问题。 明年我看到谷歌广告了,告诉我们他们就会来亚特兰大装光纤,这让网速改善那么多,升级网速1GB到。我听到这个消息时候我很高兴,因为我觉得美国的网速太慢了。我们有公司像Comcast谁不喜欢谷歌升级网速1GB到,不过我觉得他们不喜欢因为这必须强Comcast改善网速也强他们便宜价格今天的网速。
May 28, 2015 10:09 PM
Corrections · 6

升级网速

每周使用新的词汇(/单词),所以今天的日记是关于“升级网速(1)”。
我回家后我们的网速,总是卡(2)。其实(3)不太确定不知道为什么,但是这个变成很大的问题(4)。我想跟我妈妈说,我们应该换成新的路由器可能(/也许)修理解决我们的问题。
明年我看到谷歌广告了(5),告诉我们他们会来亚特兰大装光纤,这(6)让网速改善(7)那么多(8),升级网速1GB到(9)(10)。我听到这个消息时候我很高兴,因为我觉得美国的网速太慢了。我们有公司像Comcast公司谁不喜欢谷歌升级网速1GB到,不过我觉得他们不喜欢因为这必须强Comcast改善网速也强他们便宜价格今天的网速(11)。

 

1. 升级网速 sounds like a verb in simple present, but if you switch the order to 网速升级, it will become a noun.

2. You can combine the two clauses into one sentence to make it sound more fluid: 每次我回家以后我们的网速总是卡。I added a 每次 because you lack a tense in this sentence so I don't know when this happened. Your original sentence sounds like your internet will lag whenever you come home.

3. When you use 其实 it may indicate that you are about to tell something contradictory or changes. Because the lag is unchanged, you should drop 其实, it's unnecessary in this sentence.

4. "I'm not sure why, but it's a big problem", is what I interpreted from this whole sentence. It lacks noun in the first clause and it lacks tense in the second clause. 

5. 明年我看到谷歌广告了 = In the next year I saw Google advertisement. 

6. You have a habbit of repeating "这" "这个" , these words make you sound extreamly textbook. When you describe a objects in chinese, i suggest you to not use 这 but rather use a pronoun.

7. Lack tense.

8. 那么多 = That much.

9. Constituent error.

10. It will sound better if you put the two clauses together, also they both lack subjects.

11. I don't understand this sentence at all, I think you got some help from Google translate, which is no help at all.

May 28, 2015
虽然有一些错误,但是你的表达很清楚,加油!
May 29, 2015
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