Kiwi679
my teacher i remember a teacher i had at primary school who was wonderful.from the first day she was frieddly and kind towards the students,who were to years old.she is also very strict.if we do some things wrong ,she would ask us stand out of the class room . she is the one person who was change my life . when i was in the primary school ,I'm not a very good student in gread 3,so every body didn't like me very much .but when i was in gread 4,she came to be my new teacher,she didn't judge me on my past life.she told me that i am a good girl,and i can do every thing good ,she knew i was not the one they saw .because that words.i changed myself and try to make myself better.untill now ,if i meet some thing difficult,and doubt myself,i remember those words,they are the big power in my life ! i love her.she is the one of the most person in my life.
May 29, 2015 2:28 PM
Corrections · 2

My Teacher

I remember a teacher i had at primary school who was wonderful. From the first day, she was friendly and kind towards the students, who were two years old. She was also very strict. If we did something wrong, she would ask us to stand outside of the classroom.
She was the one person who changed my life.
When I was in the primary school, I was not a very good student in 3rd grade, so everyone didn't like me very much. However, when I was in 4th grade, she came to be my new teacher. She didn't judge me on my past life. She told me that I was a good girl, and that i could do anything well. She knew I was not the one everyone else saw. Because of her words I changed myself and tried to make myself better. Until now, if I come up against something difficult and doubt myself, I remember those words. They are powerful in my life! I love her. She is the one of the most special people in my life.

 

Hi Kiwi! So, a few tips: be careful as you start a new sentence. Each sentence should have one space after the period and begin with a capital letter.

Like this --> I am a girl. I like chicken.

Not this --> i am a girl .i like chicken.

 

I'm saying this because I saw this many times in your writing. Also, always capitalize the pronoun "I."

 

When it comes to verb tense, you started out by saying, "I remember a teacher I had at primary school..." This means you will write in mostly simple past tense. Be careful that you say 'was, did, could, saw," and not "am/is, do, can, see."

 

Other than those grammar points, I really enjoyed hearing about your wonderful teacher. I think everybody has a teacher they love. I wonder if your teacher knows how much she influenced you?

May 29, 2015
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