Although I didn't quite understand your use of the words 'muffled' and 'picking' in the context of your article, Marcell, you could use something similar to the following expression to describe your thoughts:-

'I thought that it would be easy to learn English because I consider myself to be smart and committed. However, it is really tough-going at times. My goal is to improve my learning ability, and, for my own self-respect, I know I have to dig deeper.'

Words of Today

Hi everyone. My goal here is to learn English and to improve my skills I really need to learn how to think like a native, so I can do it in conversation as well. However is very hard to meet native people that can chat on skype, whatsapp or something like that. Today I learned more words and I´ll try to write something with those words.

Words: blend (verb), look out (phrasal verb), confidence, smart, picking, muffle (verb), deep, self-esteem.

I thought that would be easy to learn English because I´m smart and very insistent. However every day I am stifled by my own difficulties and otherwise I will not improve my knowledge. I know that I have to dig deeply to get to my goals. I need to grow in my knowledge to keep up my self-esteem but sometimes it is really tough.

This is a good effort, but the words you picked do not really go together. You may want to put each word that you learn into a separate and unrelated sentence by itself.

Good luck!