Hey, I would appreciate it if you could correct my essay "Personalities"

       Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development, than any experiences we may have in our life.

*This is the Nature Vs. Nurture argument.

Which do you consider to be the major influence?

You should write at least 250 words.

Answer

      Several fields of knowledge have thoroughly demonstrated that human beings have characteristics of at birth that shape their behavior. However, Whether natural features have a bigger impact on building personalities than personal experiences is a debated topic. In my opinion, societies, social interaction and education play a major role in the construction of our conducts.

     It is undeniable that every creature in the world; including the human race, have a genetic charge that predispose individuals to have certain characters characteristics. Nevertheless, experience normally changes those conditions. For example, people who never had had a criminal conduct ofence and for any reason ended up in prison, in causing a high rate of criminal behavor to develop a criminal behavior after being released. This change in personality is greatly attributed to the extreme, illegal and violent conditions experienced in jail. Thus, it is understandable how an extreme experience influences on thier personalities.

     Education has proven to be a powerful tool when it comes to developing a correct behavior in individuals, who do not easily adapt to a peaceful coexistence. For instance, in various schools, teachers have been successful in helping violent kids to control their natural instincts, and shape their personalities. This evidence suggests that educational experience can have a big influence on youth development.

     All in all, it is clear that it is completely difficult to draw a conclusion about the influence of experience, and natural characteristics on personality. However, I feel that personality is like a white canvas, which is painted by experience throughout the your lifetime. It is societies hope that education and societies at large can continue to improve the comportment etiquette of the people.

Hey, I would appreciate it if you correct my essay "Personalities"

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life.

Which do you consider to be the major influence?

You should write at least 250 words.

Answer

Several fields of knowledge have thoroughly demonstrated that human beings have characteristics of birth that shape their behavior. However, whether natural features have a bigger impact on building personalities than personal experiences is a debated topic. In my opinion, societies, social interaction and education play a major role in the construction of our conducts.

It is undeniable that every creature in the world including the human race have has a genetic charge that predisposes individuals to have certain characters. Nevertheless, experience normally changes those conditions. For example, people who never had had a criminal conduct and, for any reason, ended up in prison, in have a high rate develop a criminal behavior after being released. This change in personality is greatly attributed to the extreme, illegal and violent conditions experienced in jail. Thus, it is understandable how an extreme experience influence on personalities.

Education has proven to be a powerful tool when it comes to developing a correct behavior in individuals,(remove comma) whom do not easily adapt to a peaceful coexistence. For instance, in various schools, teachers have been successful in helping violent kids to control their natural instincts and shape their personalities. This evidence suggests that educational experience can have a big influence on youth development.

All in all, it is clear that is completely difficult to draw a conclusion about the influence of experience and natural characteristics on personality. However, I feel that personality is like a white canvas, which is painted by experience throughout the time. It is hope that education and societies at large continue to improve the comportment of the people.