Second Guessing <em>(what exactly do you mean by second guessing - it is not clear from your writing here)</em> Yourself/oneself/myself

I've been silent on italki recently even though I could have time to spare. The reason is not because that I had nothing to post - as I said in the title, it's because of second guessing yourself.

I often give up and end up deleting the draft because my idea falls apart and becomes messed up, especially it happens when I'm trying to post something deep. As I gain more knowledge, I become aware of how poor my actual skills are. It's depressing and frustrating. Once you start <em>second guessing </em>yourself, keeping a diary becomes a daunting task, and a feeling of inadequacy sets in until you will stop posting as often. When the feeling sets in my mind, I don't force myself, but will be walk away from the thing that is suffering troubling me, <em>(really needs the comma here, to separate and yet attach it to walk away)</em> to refresh myself. As time goes by, I remember/recall how much I like the thing.

It's difficult to organize your ideas and express it them in another language.
What do you do when the feeling of inadequacy sets in your mind and you feel less confident?

<em>Perhaps you mean by 'second guess' 'self-doubt'?</em>

Second Guessing Yourself

I've been silent on italki recently even though I could have time to spare. The reason is not because I have nothing to post. As I said on in the title, it's because of second guessing yourself.

I often give up and end up deleting the draft because my idea falls apart and becomes messed up, especially if it happens when I'm trying to post something deep. As I gain more knowledge, I become aware of how poor my actual skills are. It's depressing and frustrating. Once you start second guessing yourself, keeping a diary becomes a daunting task. And a feeling of inadequacy sets in until you will stop posting as often. When the feeling sets in my mind, I don't force myself, but I will be away from the thing that is making me suffering me in order to refresh myself. As time goes by, I remember how much I liked it the thing.

It's difficult to organize your ideas and express it in another language.
What do you do when the feeling of inadequacy sets in your mind and you feel less confident?

The same happened to me several times. Here's my story that happened during the past week, similar to yours.

I told myself that I would write a post everyday, although that hasn't exactly worked out... There were often times as you've said that I end up deleting my draft because I felt that the grammar and words that I used were not good enough due to the nature of the topic I was trying to write and just end up writing something easier. Upon receiving corrections to every single post, I realized that my knowledge is not as good as I thought it was. I felt less confident in using Japanese both in speaking and writing in fear that I would be wrong. I got tired and just gave up on the speaking and writing aspect of learning Japanese, deactivating my iTalki account and just focusing on input (listening and reading). A week passed and only today I realised how much iTalki actually helped me. 

Well, if this ever happens again, which I'm sure it will, I'm just going to force myself to keep at it, to keep writing.