Diego
Hey, I would appreciate it if you correct my essay "Competition" Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Answer Historically, competition has brought enormous benefits to the world, such as important advances in technology and a continuous improvement culture. Recognizing its importance, some argue that competition should be stimulated in children. However, other state that cooperation should be encouraged in younger instead in order to have better individuals. No one can argue that competition has played a crucial role in improving science. For example, healthy competition in academy has generated great scientists, which have created invents of considerable value for the world. Although these advances have shaped and enhanced our lives, competition mainly motivates the achievement of individual objectives. Therefore, this behavior fails in creating a social thinking that children need to be taught to benefit societies as a whole. On the other hand, cooperation has brought with it vital advantages getting involved people around a general goal. For instance, multidisciplinary teams potentiate work taking advantage of the expertise of different individuals in order to reach a common target. Working as a team motivates people to work harder because people realizes the importance of their work. Thus, this skill should be vitalize in young people through education. After analyzing the above points of view, it is clear that competitiveness is valuable in forming useful citizens. However, in my opinion cooperativeness is essential to improve societies through young generations. I hope that educational systems continue to teach it in schools.
Jul 6, 2015 1:22 AM
Corrections · 4
1

Hey, I would appreciate it if you correct my essay "Competition"

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Answer

Historically, competition has brought enormous benefits to the world, such as important advances in technology and a continuous improvement in culture. Recognizing its importance, some argue that competition should be stimulated in children. However, others state that cooperation should be encouraged in youths instead in order to have better individuals.

No one can argue that competition has played a crucial role in improving science. For example, healthy competition in academy has generated great scientists, which have created invents of considerable value for the world. Although these advances have shaped and enhanced our lives, competition mainly motivates the achievement of individual objectives. Therefore, this behavior fails in creating a social thinking that children need to be taught to benefit societies as a whole.

On the other hand, cooperation has brought with it vital advantages getting involved people around a general goal. For instance, multidisciplinary teams increase work efficiency- taking advantage of the expertise of different individuals in order to reach a common target. Working as a team motivates people to work harder because people realize the importance of their work. Thus, this skill should be regarded highly in primary and vocational education.

After analyzing the above points of view, it is clear that competitiveness is valuable in forming useful citizens and overall a productive society. However, in my opinion, future generations well-educated in cooperativeness play an essential role in improving society. The better we can cooperate and communicate in our ever increasingly globalized economy will be of great benefit to any country. Therefore, it would highly disadvantageous for educational systems to not place large emphasis on this subject in their curriculum.

July 6, 2015

Hey, I would appreciate it if you correct my essay "Competition"

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Answer

Historically, competition has brought enormous benefits to the world, such as important advances in technology and a continuous improvement culture. Recognizing its importance, some argue that competition should be stimulated in children. However, other state that cooperation should be encouraged in younger instead in order to have better individuals.

No one can argue that competition has played a crucial role in improving society. For example, healthy competition in academics has generated great scientists, which have developed new inventions and ideas of considerable value for the world. Although these advances have shaped and enhanced our lives, competition mainly motivates the achievement of individual objectives. Therefore, this behavior fails in creating a social thinking that children need to be taught to benefit societies as a whole.

On the other hand, cooperation has brought with it vital advantages getting people involved around a general goal. For instance, multidisciplinary teams potentiate work taking advantage of the expertise of different individuals in order to reach a common target. Working as a team motivates people to work harder because people realizes the importance of their work. Thus, this skill should be vitalize in young people through education.

After analyzing the above points of view, it is clear that competitiveness is valuable in forming useful citizens. However, in my opinion cooperativeness is essential to improve societies through young generations. I hope that educational systems continue to teach it in schools.

July 6, 2015
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!