Miley WL
Response to email inqury about no technology background for a position Dear XXX, Thank you very much for your email, I believe that my qualifications have caught your attention and I would like to take this opportunity to discuss with you about my skills briefly. Regarding to your last question, yes, I do not have a technology background for this position but for certain I still strongly believe I can do this job well not only because I have played similar role from previous my working experience and the strong organization and management skills I have demonstrated which I can bring to this position but also with no relevant technology background can turn out to be an advantage as well as I will not take for granted to accept an offer from you and will put more efforts to compensates for this shortage. I’m a very diligent employee who set high standards for myself in every position. I wish there will be further discussion about how my experience apply in this position. I’m look forward to hear from you. Thank you very much. Best Regards,
Jul 28, 2015 1:36 AM
Corrections · 1

This is fairly well-written, but there are several errors with phrasing, register and prepositions.

 

Response to email inqury about no technology background for a position

Dear XXX,


Thank you very much for your email. I understand that my qualifications have caught your attention and I would like to take this opportunity to briefly discuss my skills with you about my skills briefly.

"Discuss about" is a common error. No preposition follows <em>discuss</em>.

 

Regarding to your last question, yes, whereas I do not have a technological background for this position, but for certain I still strongly believe I can do this job well. This is not only because I have played a similar role in my previous working experience, coupled with and the strong organization and management skills, I have demonstrated which I can bring to this position but also with my having no relevant technological background can prove to be an advantage. as well as I will not take your offer of employment for granted to accept and will put more efforts towards compensating for this shortfall. I am a very diligent employee who sets high standards for myself in every position. I anticipate there being further discussion about how my experience applies in this position. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

The phrases you need are <em>In regards to...</em> or <em>Regarding..</em>. Beware of confusing the two!

Sentences need to be short and clear - remember that employers want workers who can communicate clearly and effectively. This means removing anything unnecessary: too much information can weaken your message.

Avoid spoken forms (like contractions - <em>I'm</em>) in formal writing.

"I wish" sounds like an unreal desire, ie. what you wish for probably won't happen.

Gerunds (<em>[verb]</em>ing) always follow the phrase <em>to look forward to...</em> This is unrelated to infinitive verbs.


Thank you very much.
Best Regards,

July 28, 2015
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