A little trouble of the pocket money I was walking along the street when I saw a crowd ahead of me. I could hear a child’s shouting and I went there at once. Just arriving, I was amused by which a boy

Mike

A little trouble of the pocket money I was walking along the street when I saw a crowd ahead of me. I could hear a child’s shouting and I went there at once. Just arriving, I was amused by which a boy on the pavement with his arm in a drain cover. The cause of trouble was that he wanted to pick up his pocket money which had been fallen into the drain. A lady carrying a large bar of soap and a saucepan full of water who managed to help him to get rid of it. She asked the boy if he was in pain and he replied he wasn’t. Then she rubbed his arm with butter, but it was not able to help him. Meanwhile, someone had telephoned the fire brigade and they arrived it soon. Nevertheless, the boy begun to cry, yet I gifted him a sweet chocolate to console and encourage him when it calmed him down. They used a mystery liquid to save the boy by rubbing his arm. The boy was soon free and though his arm injured slightly. He reward the people who had been helped him with big hugs including me. Have you had any experienced that saved by the fire brigade?

Jul 30, 2015 4:20 AM

Corrections · 4

A little trouble of the pocket money

I was walking along the street when I saw a crowd ahead of me. I could hear a child’s child shouting and I went there at once. Just arriving, As soon as I arrived, I was amused by which to see a boy on the pavement with his arm in a drain cover. The cause of the trouble was that he wanted to pick up his pocket money which had been fallen into the drain.

A lady carrying a large bar of soap and a saucepan full of water who managed to help him to get rid of it ( get the drain off his arm would be a little clearer). She asked the boy if he was in pain and he replied he wasn’t. Then she rubbed his arm with butter, but it was not able to help him didn't help.

Meanwhile, someone had telephoned the fire brigade and they arrived it soon. Nevertheless, the boy begun began to cry, yet I gifted him a sweet chocolate to console and encourage him when it calmed him down, so I gave him a chocolate candy to calm him down. They used a mystery liquid to save the boy by rubbing his arm. The boy was soon free and though his arm was injured slightly. He reward , he rewarded the people who had been helped him with big hugs, including me.

Have you had any experienced that ever been saved by the fire brigade?

July 30, 2015

Thank a lot Kris! Your advice and praise all gave me great encouragement!!!

July 31, 2015

That was excellent! I made a few suggestions to make the language a little more natural, and corrected a few grammar mistakes, but that was really very well written.

July 30, 2015

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