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The woman of the dynasty:Yan Yvhuan Today evening,my cousin and I are going to see the movie in the Big Movie of Fuzhou.As is known to us,Yang Yvhuan is one of the beautiest women in the history of the China.She was born in Tang Dynasty.She was deeply loved by a emperor.According to real historical record,The whole life of Yan Yvhuan is completely different from her life in movie.And After watching the movie,I find that the most movies directed in modern are more or less eroticism,which is bad. All in all, if you want to know the real history,you can't get information through films and television programs. That's all,Thank you for your reading.
Jul 31, 2015 3:43 PM
Corrections · 2

The woman of the dynasty:Yan Yvhuan

Today evening,my cousin and I are going to see the movie in the Big Movie of Fuzhou.As is known to us,Yang Yvhuan is one of the beautiest women in the history of the China.She was born in Tang Dynasty.She was deeply loved by a emperor.According to real historical record,The whole life of Yan Yvhuan is completely different from her life in movie.And After watching the movie,I find that the most movies directed in modern are more or less eroticism,which is bad.
All in all, if you want to know the real history,you can't get information through films and television programs.
That's all,Thank you for your reading.

 

This evening, my cousin and I are going to see a movie called the "Big Movie of Fuzhou" (is this the movie title? If it is not, then you want to just give the title of the movie here). As you know, Yang Yvhuan is one of the most beautiful women in the history of China. She was born during the Tang Dynasty and was deeply loved by the emperor of that time. (Here, it was better to make one compound sentence rather than two simple sentences, it just looks and reads better in English. We rarely use simple sentences in a row when talking about the same person, event, etc. So, I made this a compound sentence) According to historical records, Yah Yvhuan's life was completely different from that shown in the movie. After watching the movie, I find that most movies directed in this modern era are less erotic, which is bad. (Here you could separate the thoughts you are making, so that the reader sees exactly what you mean. I think you are trying to say that you were disappointed in the movie because they made it less erotic, and that you find that this is done in most movies of this modern era, and that this is something you don't like. To clearly make this known to the reader, you would have to put your ideas in two different sentences, so that you full thought is conveyed to the reader) All in all, if you want to know real history, you can't get that type information from films and television programs. (I have given you the grammatically correct way to write this, but the other side is to make sure your sentence is stated so that it says to the reader exactly what you mean. In this case, you are wanting the reader to know that they won't be able to find the real story in history from films or television shows. So, you start off saying "All in all, if you want to know real history..." I would probably finish this type statement by saying, "then you may want to look in a history book, because movie films and television shows rarely give true historical accounts." (For the ending, just a simple, "Thank you for reading." is all that is necessary, no need to say "that is all" as the reader can see that this is the end of your statements. I hope this helped.

 

Wanda

July 31, 2015
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