An embarrassing experience Hello my journal. I always wished of going to a strip club, actually I have wanted to go there since I heard about it. Some people tend to say that your wishes don't com

Roman Y

An embarrassing experience Hello my journal. I always wished of going to a strip club, actually I have wanted to go there since I heard about it. Some people tend to say that your wishes don't come true, but I think they do! It was a nice Saturday evening and my friend named Andrew and I decided to go to the cinema to watch a novel movie called 'Ant-Man'. When we got out of the cinema I offered to go to a strip club and, surprisingly, he agreed. I have to tell you that if you ever go to a place like that, you need to take a bunch of money with you, otherwise you won't enjoy the experience at all. We got there around 1 AM and the security guy said that it costed $100 to enter the club, so we did pay for the entrance. I'd never been to this kind of place before, but I had a good image of what to expect from this place. The administrator took us to a table and I saw it. . There were 2 other tables filled with people. I didn't notice at first, but there were a lot of naked women sitting on the men's knees. . We settled on the couch and were eager to experience a girl dancing for us. We ordered two glassed of whiskey and waited. Finally after 10 minutes a girl approached my friend and sat on his knees in order to arouse him. After, I don't how how long it was, but let's say after 3 minutes she said that he had to pay something. . My friend had only $200 as a whole, so I thought I could help him out. I stretched out a hand holding $10 to stick into her thongs. But as she saw the amount of money I was trying to give her, she gave me the nastiest look I'd ever seen and said - "The minimum amount of money is $20". After she said that I didn't know what to do, so I just hid the money and looked in the opposite direction. .

Aug 3, 2015 7:37 AM

Corrections · 6

An embarrassing experience

Hello my journal.

I've always wished of going to a strip club, actually I have wanted to go there since I first heard about it. Some people tend to say that your wishes don't come true, but I think they do!
One Saturday evening, my friend Andrew and I decided to go see a movie called "Ant-Man". When we got out of the cinema, I suggested that we to go to a strip club and, surprisingly, he agreed.

I have to tell you that if you ever go to a place like that, you need to take a bunch of money with you, otherwise you won't enjoy the experience at all.

We got there around 1 AM and the security guy said that it cost $100 to enter the club. So we paid for the admission. I've never been to this kind of place before, but I had a good idea of what to expect. The host took us to a table and I saw there were 2 other tables filled with people. I didn't notice it at first, but there were a lot of naked women sitting on the men's knees.
We settled on the couch and were eager to experience a girl dancing for us. We ordered two glasses of whiskey and we waited. Finally, after 10 minutes, a girl approached my friend and sat on his knees in order to arouse him.

After, I don't how how long it was, but let's say after 3 minutes, she said that he had to pay something. My friend only had $200, so I thought I could help him out. I stretched out a hand, holding $10. to stick into her thong. When she saw the amount of money I was trying to give her, she gave me the nastiest look I'd ever seen and said "The minimum amount of money is $20". After she said that, I didn't know what to do, so I just hid the money and looked in the opposite direction.

August 3, 2015

An embarrassing experience

Hello my journal.

I HAD always wished TO GO to a strip club(;) actually(,) I have wanted to go there since I heard about it. Some people tend to say that your wishes don't come true, but I think they do!
It was a nice Saturday evening and my friend named Andrew and I decided to go to the cinema to watch a novel movie called 'Ant-Man'. When we got out of the cinema(,) I offered to go to a strip club and, surprisingly, he agreed.

I have to tell you that if you ever go to a place like that, you need to take a bunch of money with you, otherwise you won't enjoy the experience at all.

We got there around 1 AM and the security guy said that it WOULD COST $100 to enter the club, so we did pay for the entrance. I'd never been to this kind of place before, but I had a good image of what to expect from this place. The administrator took us to a table and I saw it. .
There were 2 other tables filled with people. I didn't notice at first, but there were a lot of naked women sitting on the men's knees. .
We settled on the couch and were eager to experience a girl dancing for us. We ordered two glasses of whiskey and waited. Finally after 10 minutes a girl approached my friend and sat on his knees in order to arouse him.

After, I don't how how long it was, but let's say after 3 minutes(,) she said that he had to pay something. . My friend had only $200 as a whole, so I thought I could help him out. I stretched out a hand holding $10 to stick into her thongs. But as she saw the amount of money I was trying to give her, she gave me the nastiest look I'd ever seen and said(,) "The minimum amount of money is $20". After she said that(,) I didn't know what to do, so I just hid the money and looked in the opposite direction. .

August 3, 2015

Sounds like quite the misadventure. Just be careful of run on sentences and excessive adjective use. Adding too many unnecessary words, while not incorrect, will expose you as not being a native speaker. Overall, you did a pretty good job. I uploaded a correction, hope it helps you. I am a native English speaking person, but I am not a teacher by any means. My goal when correcting your journal entry was to help you sound more like a local. Great job though! Keep up the good work, and next time, bring more money. Hope you got what you wanted though.

August 3, 2015

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