Monique
A despicable couple Last weekend,I went to the gourmet plaza near Olympic Forest Park after sports.There are so many people that I can hardly find an empty table.Besides,there is no waitress or waiter here and everyone was busy serving himself.I have ordered an beef rice and kept walking around with the food tray.I was so tired and so hungry and totally exhausted.Suddenly,I find a table with four seats but only seated two people-one woman and one man,seems to be a couple.Thank goodness!I walked up to them quickly and asked them politely:"I beg your pardon. Is this seat taken?“The woman looked at me over and responded briefly:"Yes".Filled with disappointment though,I still thanked them politely and walked away.Finally,I found a seat not far away from their table and gobbled my lunch down.Then I had a glance at the couple.They almost finished their lunch too.And to my surprise,the seats beside them are still empty.They lied to me!How could they do that? I was so shocked and full of anger.But I didn't say anything or do anything.It's still crowed with people here.I just left my seat so someone else could sit down for meals.You know,I never expect others' help when I need them.But at least,I wish no one's gonna hurt me.The couple didn't want to be bothered in their world.I understood,really,because I can read "no space for the third man"on their faces.But it's a public place and they have no rights to appropriate a table for four. Selfish,despicable,blind lovers are the most worst creatures on Earth.I hope I would never meet them again.
Aug 4, 2015 9:44 AM
Corrections · 6
2

Sorry, I can't explain all of your errors to you.

Some problems were word choices, other problems had to do with structure (the order of events), and unnecessary explanations that were already implied.

 

A despicable couple

Last weekend, I went to the gourmet plaza near Olympic Forest Park after sports practice. There are were so many people that I can could hardly find an empty table. Besides, There is no waitress or waiter here and everyone was busy serving himself was a self-service restaurant. I have ordered a beef rice and kept walking walked around with the food tray, . I was so tired, and so hungry, and totally exhausted. Suddenly, Eventually, I find found a table with of four seats but only seated two seats people-one woman and one man, seems to be were already taken by a couple. Thank goodness! I walked up to them quickly and asked them politely, pointing to an empty chair: “I beg your pardon. Is this seat taken?“ The woman looked at me over and responded briefly, "Yes”. Filled with disappointment though, I still thanked them politely and walked away. Finally, I found a seat not far away from their table and gobbled my lunch down. Then I had a glance at the couple. They After I finished my lunch, I noticed that the couple had also almost finished their lunch, too. And to my surprise, the seats beside them are still empty. No one had joined their table. In other words, they lied to me! How could they do that?
I was so shocked and full of anger. But I didn't say anything or do anything. It’s still crowed with people here. I didn’t want to make a scene or start a commotion. I just left my seat so someone else could sit down for a meals. You know, I never expect others' help when I need them. But at least, I wish no one's going to hurt me.  (NOTE: The situation in which you describe does not illustrate a call for help. So help, is not the right word.) The couple didn't want to be bothered in their world. I understood really, because I can could read their "no space room for the third man wheel" look on their faces. But it's a public place and they have had no rights to appropriate a table for four. Selfish, despicable, blind lovers are the worse creatures on Earth. I hope I would never meet them again.

August 5, 2015
1

Firstly, I will give you a couple of notes, things you should know.

 

Spaces must appear after each word, including commas and periods. This is not Chinese where you do not have to type the space bar.

 

If you write a story in the past tense, you cannot switch your story to the present tense without good cause. Example, you can’t say, I went to some place and there are so many people. In Chinese, you would not say, 我去了哪个地方,看那么人。 You would need a second 了to keep sentence in the past. The same goes for English.

I do think you may have misjudged that couple. Maybe they were were saving those seats for their friends, and their friends didn’t come back. They might not have lied to you.

See the bright side of life.

August 5, 2015
1

A despicable couple

Last weekend, I went to the gourmet plaza near Olympic Forest Park after practice. There were so many people that I could hardly find an empty table. There was a self-service restaurant. I had ordered a beef rice and walked around with my food tray, tired, hungry, and totally exhausted. Eventually, I found a table of four but two seats were already taken by a couple. I asked the couple politely, pointing to an empty chair: “Is this seat taken?“ The woman looked me over and responded, "Yes”. Filled with frustration, I thanked them and walked away. Finally, I found a seat not far away from their table and gobbled my lunch down. After I had finished, I noticed that the couple had also finished their lunch, too. However, to my surprise, no one had joined their table. In other words, they lied to me!

I was so shocked and angry, but I didn't say anything or do anything. I didn’t want to make a scene or start a commotion. I just left so someone else could sit down for a meal. The couple obviously didn't want to be bothered. I understood really, because I could read their "no room for the third wheel" expression on their faces. But it was a public place and they had no rights to appropriate a table for four. Selfish, despicable, blind lovers are the worse creatures on Earth. I hope I never meet them again.

August 5, 2015
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!