Corrado
Professional Teacher
Flowers of light Hi, this is a song I've written years ago... could you please tell me what is incorrect, and what would be incorrect if those wouldn't have been verses from a song? Thank you. Flowers of light Amy, your eyes are flowers of light Amy, the rose in your hair sings a song Amy, your eyes are flowers of light Sunshine, the sky has the shape of your smile I am totally crazy for you I am helplessly crazy for you Sunrise, the top of the world in your hand Amy, your eyes are flowers of light I am totally crazy for you I am helplessly crazy for you And your heart shines
Aug 5, 2015 8:31 AM
Corrections · 6

Flowers of light

Hi, this is a song I wrote years ago... could you please tell me what is correct, and what is would be incorrect if those wouldn't have been the verses were not from a song? Thank you.


Flowers of light

Amy, your eyes are flowers of light
Amy, the rose in your hair sings a song
Amy, your eyes are flowers of light
Sunshine, the sky has the shape of your smile

I am totally crazy for you
I am helplessly crazy for you

Sunrise, the top of the world in your hand
Amy, your eyes are flowers of light

I am totally crazy for you
I am helplessly crazy for you

And your heart shines

 

Corrado, there are no issues regarding grammar.

--Ravi.

August 5, 2015
Grazie del commento Antonio
August 5, 2015
Grazie del commento Antonio
August 5, 2015
Corrado, I cannot correct your song because poetic license permits every allusion that you wrote. Per quanto riguarda le frasi scritte come prosa, boh! Si sa che una frase non ha il verbo, ma a volte si parla così, no? In ogni caso, si sentono le parole di canzone che hanno molto meno del senso, allora non preoccupartene.
August 5, 2015
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