Misa
9/12/2015 I hiked the mountain in the dead of the night, hoping to catch the first glimpse of the sunrise. In the dark, the dark veil that once enveloped the surrounding was slowly lifted. The sunlight was creeping in and now the outline of the building was visible. From afar, the sun peeked over the skyline and started to spill its golden light generously onto the landscape as it climbed higher and higher. The air was warm and the sunlight caressed my skin.
Aug 31, 2015 4:53 PM
Corrections · 3

9/12/2015

I hiked up the mountain in the dead of the night, hoping to catch the first glimpse of the sunrise.
In the dark, the dark veil that once enveloped the surrounding area was slowly lifted. The sunlight was creeping in and now the outline of a building was visible. From afar, the sun peeked over the skyline and started to spill its golden light generously onto the landscape as it climbed higher and higher. The air was warm and the sunlight caressed my skin.

 

Hello Misa,

Another lovely piece of descriptive writing with very few mistakes - in the middle I changed "the" to "a building" because in this piece of writing we have not met this building before and we know nothing about it - we have no common knowledge -  so it is better to use 'a' = 1 (of many)

 

Hope this helps

 

Bob

August 31, 2015
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