Misa
9/14/2015 We staggered through the ankle-deep snow, leaving trails of footsteps. However the snowflakes falling from the sky erased our footprint very quickly. Our body temperature kept dropping; we kept pulling our clothes tighter and tighter. Most of our food was finished as we missed our way in the snowy mountain for around ten or more days. We started to lay our hands on the wild fruits or greens that we managed to find. At nights, we tried to find a place where we could start a bonfire.
Sep 2, 2015 5:18 PM
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9/14/2015

We staggered through the ankle-deep snow, leaving trails of footsteps (footprints would be better. "Footsteps" refers to the actual act of stepping. "Footprints" refers to what is left behind.). However the snowflakes falling from the sky erased our footprint very quickly. Our body temperature kept dropping; we kept pulling our clothes tighter and tighter.
Most of our food was finished as we missed our way (I don't understand "missed our way". Did you mean "made our way"? Or do you mean something about being lost?) in the snowy mountain for around ten or more days ("for ten or more days" or "for around ten days". Don't use both. It's bad writing.. We started to lay our hands on the wild fruits or greens that we managed to find. (Do you mean something like "We started to gather any wild fruits and greens that we could find"? The phrase "lay our hands on" doesn't make sense in this context. Also, why are there fruits and vegetables growing in a place with ankle-deep snow?) At nights, we tried to find a place where we could start a bonfire. (I would just use fire. A bonfire is a big, big fire.)



Your English is very good! The mistakes you made come from trying to use more advanced vocabulary and expressions, which is nothing to be embarassed about. Well done!

September 2, 2015
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